# Do nice guys finish last?



## Joshua B (Dec 30, 2003)

Do the majority of women go for the bad boy types rather than gentlemen? 

Are women likely to stay with men who treat them poorly or at least ignore them?

Do nice guys end up finishing last?


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## jlangdale (Dec 30, 2003)

Should have made a poll 



			
				Joshua B said:
			
		

> Do the majority of women go for the bad boy types rather than gentlemen?


Yes.



			
				Joshua B said:
			
		

> Are women likely to stay with men who treat them poorly or at least ignore them?


No.



			
				Joshua B said:
			
		

> Do nice guys end up finishing last?


More often than not.


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## riverc0il (Dec 30, 2003)

i think our society has a serious collective psychological problem.  i won't go into too much detail about my hypothesis, but i've often noticed that people tend to say that they want "such and such a person" in their lives...  but then go out and find the exact opposite.  then they b**** about how much the opposite sex sucks.  my belief is people that say that they suck at picking members of the opposite sex, not that the entire opposite sex sucks!

perhaps i've seen or heard of more than the average, but i think mental, physical, psychological and cultural abuse on the minds of youth have seriously messed up a lot of our collective heads.  for example, people who are beaten as children often end up in that type of a relationship.  that whole "break the cycle" type deal.  not throwning everyone into this abuse catagory...  but i've noticed the more abuse...  the more people tend to go for people that treat them like dirt.

any ways, the average nice guy can finish last...  if said nice guy see's life as a race or a placement contest :wink:  but life is what you make of it, and if you don't let yourself be judged against others, you'll finish where ever you desire! :beer:


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## Jaytrek57 (Dec 30, 2003)

Pain Heals.
Chicks Dig Scars.
Glory Lasts For Ever!
_The Replacements_

My wife happens to think I am a gentlemanly bad boy who finished first.  uke:


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## Max (Dec 31, 2003)

Well, whether or not I'm a nice guy, all I know is I didn't finish last.  I've been married over 30 years to the most wonderful woman on the planet, and wouldn't trade her for anything.  The secret is to look at the inside where all the stuff that REALLY counts exists...things like love, devotion, appreciation, friendship, trust, honesty, laughter, kindness, sincerity, generosity, compassion, a sense of humor, and the willingness and ability to overlook the minor details and not sweat the small stuff (whew!!   ).  All those things remain long after the hourglass figure and wrinkle-free skin have made their changes.  All I can say is I married WAY over my head, and probably don't deserve everything she does for me.  Remember, a good relationship is not based on a 50/50 formula...it's a 100% / 100% ratio that makes things work.  You can be a dirt bag to the other person and maybe that's funny for a while, but it sure doesn't last over the long haul.  When you end up finding a partner that is your best friend first...that's the one to hang onto!

Max


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## SilentCal (Dec 31, 2003)

Max is 100% percent correct.  You always have to look on the inside and find a personality that fits your own.   Most people look at me and my girlfriend and wonder how in the world can we put up with each other.   We do because we understand each other and accept the "warts and all" mentality.  If your out there looking for someone who is a perfect 10 physically, your going to pass by many 7's that would be a perfect 10 relationshipwise.   I got really lucky in the fact that she does many of the things that I like to do.   But sometimes, people just want new experiences and that's what you need to offer.   Nice guys don't finish last,  It's the guys that aren't true to themselves that finish last.


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## jlangdale (Dec 31, 2003)

Sure, there are very 'nice' people out there.   There are people out there that can meet someone and see the important things and be happy in life.  But lets not fool ourselfs, ok?  Everyone at least to some degree is superficial and desires or lusts after the slim toned hard body.  The degree to which this is important to them is more than likely inversely proportional to their own self-image.  Not always the case, mind you.

That said, I think this line of discussion is a perversion of the original suggestion that nice guys finish last as in don't get the good, or even the 'pretty' girl.  Least we kid ourselfs, the majority of petite younger attractive women are so bombarded with opportunties, it is a fact of life and evolution that they choose those most attractive.  Not always the case, of course but in general.  The real question is what percentage consider 'attractive' as being significantlly superficial.  Sure, some women claim to be more interested in intelligence, what have you.  However, I ask you... how much chance does a buck-tooth one-eyed MIT student have initially against a semi-intelligent beach bum?

In the end, I think it goes back to evolution and natural selection.  No matter how much we might like to think we can think above evolution with our super-developed intellict I think it still largely controls us and we just don't know it.  Women are indeed attracted to strong men, not always the nicest that do not necessarily treat them like a whipped 16 year old.  Why?  Who knows, I'm sure there are several reasons.  However, I've seen this type of attraction first-hand.  Not myself mind you.  But friends of mine, some even admitted it.

Then you have the case of some women with men that abuse them (ok people that is a whole different topic, no reason to jump off the boat just because it was mentioned).  The point is, they tend to stick with them even after being abused or cheated on.   Not a good thing, duh.  But it does happen.  Why?  Who knows.  Sure they don't like being abused but there must be 'something' that attracts them to these type of men.


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## jlangdale (Dec 31, 2003)

riverc0il said:
			
		

> i think our society has a serious collective psychological problem.  i won't go into too much detail about my hypothesis, but i've often noticed that people tend to say that they want "such and such a person" in their lives...  but then go out and find the exact opposite



I totally agree with this point.  People do not always know what they want.  And thinking you know what you want before you've found it is a little like asking someone to list the things they don't know.

There was a huge initiative back in the 50s or 60s to ask people what they liked and would BUY in a car, features, etc.  After compiling all this data and producing the car, it became one of the biggest flops in the auto industry.


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## mtnclimber (Jan 5, 2004)

I guess its all in what you are looking for. Nice guys can finish first if they are looking for a women who wants a nice guy. The only time nice guys finish last is when they chase the women that chase the bad boys.   

Just a thought.


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## smitty77 (Jan 13, 2004)

Nope.

I consider myself to be a pretty nice guy, and yet I have a beautiful wife (who is also a very nice gal), a beautiful baby boy, a new house, and a great well-paying job that I love.  I'm not the greatest looking guy, and about 30 pounds overweight, but she loves me just the same, as I love her.  It's not rocket surgery.

You can't wait for everything to come to you, you have to take charge, make things happen, and pounce on opportunities that come your way.  Also rememer that no one finishes first or last.  He who dies with the most toys, will still be dead.

Just some food for thought.
Smitty


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## jimme (Feb 11, 2004)

Having always considered myself to be a 'nice guy'. I have always said:

"Nice guys don't finish last. They don't finish at all. They're not even in the running."

I've always been that 'Boy Scout', all my friends duck the rope, and I take the open trail. Waited for the second date to attempt a kiss., etc. (Was [am] I pathetic or what?)   

Now I'd really have to say it depends on the situation. Sometimes you have to be bad to get what you want. I kept my day off when I knew my boss really wanted me to come in. That would have cost me a Powder Daize at Plattekill if I had been the 'nice guy' and gone to work. Also, I have come to determine the rope is to keep most riders off the trail so that I can enjoy it more. 

In the world of business and finances, you gotta be a bas... (I think). From observation, the people who make mucho money are generally hard-arses when it comes to business. They might be sweethearts with friends and family, but when the suit goes on. . .watch out.

Jimme


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## severine (Feb 11, 2004)

It all really depends on the girl... I personally wouldn't stand for mistreatment from anyone, but especially from a partner.  "Bad boys" just don't do it for me.  My sister, however, has allowed this leech to latch onto her and she thinks he's the greatest thing ever.  They're even supposedly getting married someday.  But then again, her last boyfriend was the same as this one.  Some girls are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again with the "bad boys"... And some are smart enough to realize that you'll only find a good partner in one of the "nice guys."


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## Joshua B (Feb 11, 2004)

Nice to hear a woman's perspective. Thanks.


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## ASC (Feb 11, 2004)

severine said:
			
		

> My sister, however, has allowed this leech to latch onto her and she thinks he's the greatest thing ever.  They're even supposedly getting married someday.


Isn't that her call?  


> Do the majority of women go for the bad boy types rather than gentlemen?
> Are women likely to stay with men who treat them poorly or at least ignore them?
> Do nice guys end up finishing last?


I take it you are the "nice guy" and your women ran off with a "bad boy"? Don't sweat it, just go out and do your things, there are lotta ladies out there :wink: [/quote]


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## severine (Feb 11, 2004)

ASC said:
			
		

> severine said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She's a free woman; she can choose to do whatever she wants.  They got engaged this past Christmas.  However, he has made it abundantly clear before that he has no intention of getting marriend anytime soon, nor does he ever want to have children.  She wants kids, and lots of them, so I don't know why she's stuck with this one.  But she's made her bed and she'll have to lie in it.... At least I got a good one!


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## Joshua B (Feb 11, 2004)

ASC said:
			
		

> I take it you are the "nice guy" and your women ran off with a "bad boy"? Don't sweat it, just go out and do your things, there are lotta ladies out there :wink:



Cute. I see you are back to your button-pushing strategy. I've actually been with my lovely girlfriend for 3 and 1/2 years.


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## ASC (Feb 11, 2004)

Just trying to help. So if she is a nice gal, then you must be a "bad boy".    :beer:


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## Starter Jackets Rule! (Feb 16, 2004)

severine said:
			
		

> It all really depends on the girl... I personally wouldn't stand for mistreatment from anyone, but especially from a partner.  "Bad boys" just don't do it for me.  My sister, however, has allowed this leech to latch onto her and she thinks he's the greatest thing ever.  They're even supposedly getting married someday.  But then again, her last boyfriend was the same as this one.  Some girls are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again with the "bad boys"... And some are smart enough to realize that you'll only find a good partner in one of the "nice guys."


severine, can I have your sisters phone number?
I feel like spanking her..I'm a Baaaaad Boy!
Ps. I have money! :wink: 
Paul/SRJ!


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## Joshua B (Feb 16, 2004)

I hope someone's wife doesn't check up on her man's internet surfing activity...like my female co-worker did before she promptly fired her boyfriend!


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## Starter Jackets Rule! (Feb 19, 2004)

Joshua B said:
			
		

> I hope someone's wife doesn't check up on her man's internet surfing activity...like my female co-worker did before she promptly fired her boyfriend!


So, whats your point?
 :idea:


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## skican (Feb 19, 2004)

I did not see too many replies from the women. I think that a "person" who does not immediately recognize a good "person" probably has some issues that a nice "person" should avoid. Nice people don't finish last they finish first. You have not met the right gal for you yet. Good things come to those who wait. I was young once, married a guy who almost killed me by running me over with his car. He was a "bad boy" and I definitely had some growing up to do issues. 20 years later I met the most wonderful man who thinks that I am just as wonderful. Not that we don't have our occasional differences....I wouldn't trade my nice guy for all the tea in....Boston.


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## lilybean (Feb 23, 2004)

*good vs. bad or both???*

I think that in the past I have dated some bad boys because it is sooo much fun. But it gets old fast. Girls stick with the good boys because in the end it is the guy who treats her right. The best senario is getting the good boy to act like a bad boy once in a while!!!!!!  :wink:


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## Joshua B (Feb 23, 2004)

Well if you're allowed to say that, I should be allowed to share that I have always wanted a good girl, but a freak in the bedroom.  8)


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## severine (Feb 24, 2004)

Joshua B said:
			
		

> Well if you're allowed to say that, I should be allowed to share that I have always wanted a good girl, but a freak in the bedroom.  8)



I can't think of many men who don't feel the same way, even if they won't admit it!


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