# Why I won't be skiing much this year.



## wa-loaf (Sep 18, 2008)

I've dropped a few hints here and there and a couple folks have PM'd me about it, but I've been reluctant to post here. I've kind of been using AZ as a escape to distract me from the stuff going on at home, I figure it's time to bring in the reality.

At the beginning of August a few growths were discovered on my wife's liver. Flash forward a few weeks and my wife has been through surgery to remove 60% of her liver due to bile duct cancer (colangio carcinoma) and 3 lymph nodes. The surgery was very successful and the docs (the best in the world at MGH) removed 99% of the cancer. The rest is "out there" somewhere in her system and we need to go through chemo to hopefully clear that out. The next six months will be spent doing chemo every other week starting October 3rd.

As far as skiing goes, well I hope to be able to do some skiing at Wachusett for my sanity and to get the kids out of the house as well. Any trips up north are really dependent on how my wife reacts to the chemo, but it's not really a priority.

My wife has a really good "we're going to kick cancers ass" attitude and is blogging about her experience if anyone is interested in following along: http://spiffyknits.blogspot.com/ It is her knitting blog if you are wondering about the theme going on there.

Any positive vibes are appreciated.

Thanks,
Jens


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## bvibert (Sep 18, 2008)

Wow!  Sorry to hear about that wa-loaf!  Hang in there and stand by your wife, the skiing will still be there when she's all healthy again.


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## Greg (Sep 18, 2008)

Best of luck for your wife's speedy recovery. Sounds like she has the right attitude. Perhaps this will just give your knee time to fully heel too. Tough year for you guys. I feel for you.


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## dmc (Sep 18, 2008)

(((((( +++++++ vibes ++++++  ))))))


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## Dr Skimeister (Sep 18, 2008)

Positive thoughts for you guys, from you guys.


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## Marc (Sep 18, 2008)

Bummer man.

We're lucky to have places like MGH, Brigham and Women's, DFCI, Beth Israel, Children's, etc. so close by.  Hope all turns out well.  The anti-nasuea drugs have come a long way, from what I understand, and chemo is not as bad as it once was.  The real tough part is the waiting after the chemo.  Stay strong and positive, it's one of the best things to do.


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## Moe Ghoul (Sep 18, 2008)

Sorry to hear about that, Wa, my wife went through chemo for something different in 2001. Circle the wagons and get it done. My wife's an avid knitter as well, in fact, she really got into it during the chemo days, it was good therapy for her. I played nurse for 9 months. Best wishes to her and your family.


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## Warp Daddy (Sep 18, 2008)

Jens:

 Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you face this challenge. Your wife's positive attitude together with your support and sensitivity  will enhance her recovery process. It seems to me  that you have the INNER strength  to endure and be THERE for her .

By all means ski WAWA  and let loose it'll do you BOTH some good . 

I have two kids that are Hospital PharrmD's at 2  differant hospitals in Manhatten  who regularly put these interventions together for their patients .( one of which is a sister in law ) , They tell me that The chemo while still ruff coupled with the anti - nausea meds have come a long way  . 

Vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warp


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## 2knees (Sep 18, 2008)

thoughts and prayers sent your way.


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## Hawkshot99 (Sep 18, 2008)

There are things way more important than skiing.  Best of luck to her.


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## Beetlenut (Sep 18, 2008)

So sorry to hear about your wife. I did the Danna Farber thing when my mom was doing Chemo. Like others have said, they've come a long way with the anti-nausea meds. No processed foods though!


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## billski (Sep 18, 2008)

Jens,
Moe is spot-on, circle the wagons and get it done
I have been through a number of life-altering medical curveballs with various relatives.  The good news is that liver cancer is well understood and has many treatment alternatives, which have a lot of data behind them.  

Put the skiing behind you, there is always next year.  Invest now so there is a future to look forward to.  Best wishes.


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## Johnskiismore (Sep 18, 2008)

Very sorry to hear this, stay strong and positive for wife and yourself.

I hope the best for both of you


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## PA Ridge Racer (Sep 18, 2008)

All the best to you and your wife Wa-loaf. Here's to a speedy recovery.


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## severine (Sep 18, 2008)

You and your wife are in my thoughts.  She has an awesome attitude and I know she will have excellent support from you.  Best wishes on a speedy recovery for her.


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Sep 18, 2008)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++vibes+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


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## MichaelJ (Sep 18, 2008)

~~~ Good luck, good thoughts, good vibes, and plenty of positive hope. ~~~


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## Trekchick (Sep 18, 2008)

Will it help if I double dog dare her to beat cancer's ass?

((hugs))
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## powderman (Sep 18, 2008)

Really sorry about you and your family.  Hope she has a speedy recovery


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## drjeff (Sep 18, 2008)

Drugs are cool, very, very cool, especially the new chemo drugs!

Big time + vibes


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## WJenness (Sep 18, 2008)

wa-loaf,

Positive thoughts for you and yours.

If you need someone to ski/chat with at Wa, drop me a line and I'll be happy to be there.

Hooray for the best doctors in the world.

-w


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## gorgonzola (Sep 18, 2008)

f the c, kick its ass...vibes, strength, power and prayers to both her and you!


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## BeanoNYC (Sep 18, 2008)

Wow...sorry to hear that.  My thoughts are with you.  If you need anything, be sure to let me know.


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## tjf67 (Sep 18, 2008)

oofff  prayers


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## andyzee (Sep 18, 2008)

Vibes for sure, wish your wife a full and speedy recovery.


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## Paul (Sep 18, 2008)

What can be said that hasn't been said already? (and probably much more eloquently)

All the best to you Jens and of course to Mrs. Loaf. Take care of your family, be strong for your wife, there will still be moments where, despite a positive exterior, she's going to need your strength. Remember that you will both come out of this better, faster, stron.... no, wait, that's the six-million-dollar man.

I'm sure you'll all be fine, and it really will be something that when she's all better, and you're past this, will tighten the bond your family shares more than you could ever imagine. Go ahead and take the kiddos out for some turns, they'll need the release and I'm sure Mrs. Loaf would appreciate some quiet-time.


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## powbmps (Sep 18, 2008)

+++++++++++++Positive vibes for sure!+++++++++++++


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## wa-loaf (Sep 18, 2008)

Thanks everyone.

Chemo they say will be light to moderate, so she'll only have the nausea for a day or two and won't lose her hair. Still 6 months is going to be a grind with chemo every two weeks. At least there will be a schedule, which will be easier to deal with than the chaos of the last month.

I'm amazed at the support we've gotten so far and not just with family members who have been great. But we've got the local Moms club bringing us meals 3 times a week, a friend sent us a big box from Omaha Steaks. Colleen (my wife) has a ton of online and local knitting friends who pitched in to buy us gift cards to Trader Joe's, Amazon and even a gas card.


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## deadheadskier (Sep 18, 2008)

dmc said:


> (((((( +++++++ vibes ++++++  ))))))



Big time


I'm glad you brought this private matter to everyone's attention Jens.  This community, at least to me, is more than just gear, double diamonds, steezy stoke and joking around.  It's real people, and great people at that, who are here for laughs and shared passion, but always here for support as well when the most important issues in life come up.

As you know, I'm pulling for you and yours......hopefully we can meet up for some turns and a beer at WaWa this upcoming season

Stay well


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## Warp Daddy (Sep 18, 2008)

deadheadskier said:


> Big time
> 
> .  This community, at least to me, is more than just gear, double diamonds, steezy stoke and joking around.  It's real people, and great people at that, who are here for laughs and shared passion, but always here for support as well when the most important issues in life
> 
> TRUE !!!!  this is a really fine group of folks who DO care


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## bigbog (Sep 18, 2008)

*Here's to Mrs.Loaf kicking cancer's ass! (watch this get FiXeD)*

All the best vibes to Mrs.Loaf and you Jens,
IMHO..use the skiing as one outlet to get the kids active.. keeping them positive as well....along with giving Mrs.Loaf the time off;-)  Guess you know all that....
Give her our the best....now I guess she's off the hook for having to show at one of BobR's parking lot barbeques!...bet she'll be thrilled with that..or what!..:roll:

$.01,
SteveD


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## Greg (Sep 18, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> I'm amazed at the support we've gotten so far and not just with family members who have been great. But we've got the local Moms club bringing us meals 3 times a week, a friend sent us a big box from Omaha Steaks. Colleen (my wife) has a ton of online and local knitting friends who pitched in to buy us gift cards to Trader Joe's, Amazon and even a gas card.



That is very cool. And if there is anything you need from the AZ community, just ask. Seriously. We got your backs.


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## Mildcat (Sep 19, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like you and your wife have the right attitude though. I'm glad she's getting a lot of support and the best medical care. The support must make a tough time a little easier. It makes it easier to stay positive. I hope the combo of the best doctors and strong family and friends pulls her through this with very little difficulty.


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## Terry (Sep 19, 2008)

Best of luck with the treatments and outcome. The best defense against cancer is to stay positive. She WILL kick its ASS. Good luck and if there is anything any of us can do, don't hesitate to ask.


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## Vortex (Sep 19, 2008)

Thoughts and prayers.


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## krisskis (Sep 19, 2008)

Positive++++++++vibes to you and your wife. Tell her to give the C a big ol' can of whoop ass!!!

If you ever need anything...just ask.


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## hammer (Sep 19, 2008)

More positive vibes...


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## wa-loaf (Sep 19, 2008)

Greg said:


> And if there is anything you need from the AZ community, just ask. Seriously. We got your backs.



Just keep doing what you're doing. Go out and ski a lot and put up TR's with lots of pics and videos. And if I do make it out to an AZ event this winter, I'll accept a sympathy beer. :-D


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## noski (Sep 19, 2008)

deadheadskier said:


> ...I'm glad you brought this private matter to everyone's attention Jens.  This community, at least to me, is more than just gear, double diamonds, steezy stoke and joking around.  It's real people, and great people at that, who are here for laughs and shared passion, but always here for support as well when the most important issues in life come up...Stay well



DeadHead came closest to what I was going to say. Even though you don't know many of us, please know your online friends are here for you if need a place to share your experience, get support or just to express your fears/hopes/successes. Prayers to you, your wife and family.


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## Marc (Sep 19, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Just keep doing what you're doing. Go out and ski a lot and put up TR's with lots of pics and videos. And if I do make it out to an AZ event this winter, I'll accept a sympathy beer. :-D



That can be arranged.  We'll have to meet up again at Wa this year.  I'll provide some more falling down 180's for your enjoyment.


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## severine (Sep 19, 2008)

deadheadskier said:


> I'm glad you brought this private matter to everyone's attention Jens.  This community, at least to me, is more than just gear, double diamonds, steezy stoke and joking around.  It's real people, and great people at that, who are here for laughs and shared passion, but always here for support as well when the most important issues in life come up.





noski said:


> DeadHead came closest to what I was going to say. Even though you don't know many of us, please know your online friends are here for you if need a place to share your experience, get support or just to express your fears/hopes/successes. Prayers to you, your wife and family.


I totally agree.  It's easy to forget how spread out we are as everyone here is so supportive and it feels like such a closer-knit community.  We're here for you, rooting for you and your wife the whole way!  If there is anything we can do, just let us know!


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## ComeBackMudPuddles (Sep 19, 2008)

Sending you much strength and support during these tough times.


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## WJenness (Sep 19, 2008)

Marc said:


> That can be arranged.  We'll have to meet up again at Wa this year.  I'll provide some more falling down 180's for your enjoyment.



Count me in.

-w


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## MRGisevil (Sep 19, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Just keep doing what you're doing. Go out and ski a lot and put up TR's with lots of pics and videos. And if I do make it out to an AZ event this winter, I'll accept a sympathy beer. :-D



Dude! I'm gonna make you and your wifey poo the BEST crash-montage vid (because laughter IS the best medicine!) to keep you entertained, complete with spliced play by play commentary by Mike Tirico and Dick Vermeil..... and, and star wipes! Oh, ho, ho, I have it all mapped out in my head already!

Only the best of wishes to your family in these upcoming months. We'll have to all go out to dinner when she's on the mend- Timmy and I aren't too far away and know loads of good places between here and your neck of the woods. : )))))


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## bigbog (Sep 19, 2008)

*Wachusett....sometime*

I'm in for somekind of Wa-loaf Wachusett get-together in the new year...sometime.


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## Paul (Sep 20, 2008)

bigbog said:


> I'm in for somekind of Wa-loaf Wachusett get-together in the new year...sometime.



Ditto.


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## wa-loaf (Oct 6, 2008)

*Worst week ever.*

Not good news here.

Last Wednesday my wife went back into the hospital. She's had increasing pain in her back and abdomen over the last week or so. She was in initially to have a transfusion for low red blood cell count. While she was there she was having a lot of pain, so she went on to the ER to get a CT scan to see what was up. After a long night in the ER waiting to get into the scan and get results things were not good. We held a family (her mom, brother and sister and their spouses) meeting with the doc. Her liver is not recovering as it should and is operating at only 10%. The cancer is back and growing rapidly in her abdomen and has spread to her ovaries and is likely back in the liver. Chemo under these circumstances will likely only make her sicker and at the very least cause her to spend a lot of time at the hospital rather than at home. So we've decided to forgo the chemo and make her as comfortable as possible in the remaining months she has, so she can make the most of her time with the kids and the rest of the family.

I'm losing my best friend and partner and all kinds of plans and dreams are going out the window. But worst of all my kids are losing their mother and that's the hardest part to deal with.

Not sure how much I'll be posting here in the near future, we'll see how everything goes. I need to be with my family, but skiing does clear my head and is good therapy.

Thanks
Jens


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## Moe Ghoul (Oct 6, 2008)

I hope you and your family can find some comfort during this difficult and sad time, Waloaf. I never know what to say in moments like this.


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## Marc (Oct 6, 2008)

There's nothing I can say, Jens.  Tell me if you need anything.


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## bvibert (Oct 6, 2008)

That's terrible news Jens.  I'm so, so sorry to hear it.  Cherish the time you have with her.

I wish you the best of luck with everything.  You and your family will be in my thoughts.

If there's anything we can do to help please let us know.


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## WJenness (Oct 6, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Not good news here.
> 
> Last Wednesday my wife went back into the hospital. She's had increasing pain in her back and abdomen over the last week or so. She was in initially to have a transfusion for low red blood cell count. While she was there she was having a lot of pain, so she went on to the ER to get a CT scan to see what was up. After a long night in the ER waiting to get into the scan and get results things were not good. We held a family (her mom, brother and sister and their spouses) meeting with the doc. Her liver is not recovering as it should and is operating at only 10%. The cancer is back and growing rapidly in her abdomen and has spread to her ovaries and is likely back in the liver. Chemo under these circumstances will likely only make her sicker and at the very least cause her to spend a lot of time at the hospital rather than at home. So we've decided to forgo the chemo and make her as comfortable as possible in the remaining months she has, so she can make the most of her time with the kids and the rest of the family.
> 
> ...




Jens,

My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I can't even imagine what you are all going through.

Wachusett and beer offer is still on the table... and will always be.

If there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

-w


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## ALLSKIING (Oct 6, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Not good news here.
> 
> Last Wednesday my wife went back into the hospital. She's had increasing pain in her back and abdomen over the last week or so. She was in initially to have a transfusion for low red blood cell count. While she was there she was having a lot of pain, so she went on to the ER to get a CT scan to see what was up. After a long night in the ER waiting to get into the scan and get results things were not good. We held a family (her mom, brother and sister and their spouses) meeting with the doc. Her liver is not recovering as it should and is operating at only 10%. The cancer is back and growing rapidly in her abdomen and has spread to her ovaries and is likely back in the liver. Chemo under these circumstances will likely only make her sicker and at the very least cause her to spend a lot of time at the hospital rather than at home. So we've decided to forgo the chemo and make her as comfortable as possible in the remaining months she has, so she can make the most of her time with the kids and the rest of the family.
> 
> ...


I am so Sorry. That is as hard as it gets in life....Prayers are with you and the kids.


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## BeanoNYC (Oct 6, 2008)

I'm Speechless.  You're in all our thoughts.  Let us know if we can do anything.


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## deadheadskier (Oct 6, 2008)

Your family will be in my thoughts Jens.  Any help you need, we are all here for you.


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## Beetlenut (Oct 6, 2008)

So sorry to hear of your wife's turn for the worse, my prayers go out to her, you and your family. Normally I don't post in these type of threads, as the pain of loosing my mom and other close friends to this terrible disease is still too fresh and painful to think about. Somehow you'll get through this, I don't know how, but it's what she would want, and she'll always be at your side.


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## Greg (Oct 6, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> I'm losing my best friend and partner and all kinds of plans and dreams are going out the window. But worst of all my kids are losing their mother and that's the hardest part to deal with.



Oh man, Jens. I'm so sorry to hear all this. Just be the best dad you can be. You're in our thoughts and prayers.


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## 2knees (Oct 6, 2008)

i cant express my sorrow sufficiently.  my prayers for you and your family.


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## billski (Oct 6, 2008)

Jens,

I wish for your wife nothing but good days, surrounded by you and the kids.  It is hard, sometimes impossible but as family, sticking together,  you will all get through this.  I wish the remaining time be filled with smiles, happiness and love.  Each of you has to get through this; it's your family who needs you most just as you need them.

While the AZ community is very removed and "distant", remember  that we all do care (despite all the jest) and would be honored to help in any, even the smallest way.  We feel helpless, as I'm sure you feel not only helpless but burdened and full of grief.  Of that, we cannot relate.  My thoughts, prayers and wishes to you, your wife and your kids during this most difficult of experiences.
Best,
Bill


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Oct 6, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Not good news here.
> 
> Last Wednesday my wife went back into the hospital. She's had increasing pain in her back and abdomen over the last week or so. She was in initially to have a transfusion for low red blood cell count. While she was there she was having a lot of pain, so she went on to the ER to get a CT scan to see what was up. After a long night in the ER waiting to get into the scan and get results things were not good. We held a family (her mom, brother and sister and their spouses) meeting with the doc. Her liver is not recovering as it should and is operating at only 10%. The cancer is back and growing rapidly in her abdomen and has spread to her ovaries and is likely back in the liver. Chemo under these circumstances will likely only make her sicker and at the very least cause her to spend a lot of time at the hospital rather than at home. So we've decided to forgo the chemo and make her as comfortable as possible in the remaining months she has, so she can make the most of her time with the kids and the rest of the family.
> 
> ...



My heart goes out to you and your family...so incredibly sad..


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## Glenn (Oct 6, 2008)

I can't even imagine what you're going through Jens. :-(  I'm so sorry to hear that.


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## drjeff (Oct 6, 2008)

So sorry to hear.  Major positive vibes heading to your house.  Keep up the good thoughts and remember the night is always the darkest just before the light returns.


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## campgottagopee (Oct 6, 2008)

Nothing but good vibes headin' at you guys


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## Trekchick (Oct 6, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Not good news here.
> 
> Last Wednesday my wife went back into the hospital. She's had increasing pain in her back and abdomen over the last week or so. She was in initially to have a transfusion for low red blood cell count. While she was there she was having a lot of pain, so she went on to the ER to get a CT scan to see what was up. After a long night in the ER waiting to get into the scan and get results things were not good. We held a family (her mom, brother and sister and their spouses) meeting with the doc. Her liver is not recovering as it should and is operating at only 10%. The cancer is back and growing rapidly in her abdomen and has spread to her ovaries and is likely back in the liver. Chemo under these circumstances will likely only make her sicker and at the very least cause her to spend a lot of time at the hospital rather than at home. So we've decided to forgo the chemo and make her as comfortable as possible in the remaining months she has, so she can make the most of her time with the kids and the rest of the family.
> 
> ...


((Hugs))


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## o3jeff (Oct 6, 2008)

So sorry to to hear this, keep your head up and stay strong for your wife and kids during these tough times.


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## BushMogulMaster (Oct 6, 2008)

It is in times like this that we realize how absolutely useless the English language can be.  There are not words.

Know that my prayers and thoughts are with you.


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## marcski (Oct 6, 2008)

My thoughts and heart goes out to you and your beautiful children.  Stay strong and I wish you the MOST positive vibrations.


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## Paul (Oct 6, 2008)

Like others have said, I really have nothing to say.

I'm very sorry to hear the news, Jens. I wish there was more I could do beyond just letting you know that my thoughts are with you and your family. Obviously, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate.


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## Terry (Oct 7, 2008)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and family. I don't know what else to say. If there is anything anyone can do to help don't hesitate to ask.


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## krisskis (Oct 7, 2008)

My prayers go out to you and your family. I know how hard it is. I have been through it woth my dad. Cherish every moment you have together. We <AZ> are here for you.


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## SkiDork (Oct 7, 2008)

My wife and I both want to send the best possible ++++ vibes your way.  God is with you.


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## Vortex (Oct 7, 2008)

Thoughts and prayers for your family.


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## wa-loaf (Oct 7, 2008)

Thanks everyone. We've been getting support from all kinds of places. Instead of flowers and gifts I think we are going set up a fund for the kids for college since money is going to be tight for awhile. I'll post that info here when we get something going for anyone interested in helping out.

Thanks again,
Jens


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## Trekchick (Oct 7, 2008)

Count me in when you get it set up.


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## snowmonster (Oct 7, 2008)

Positive vibes and prayers for you and your family. Count me in.

Also, let us know if you need company at Wa. It's always great to ski with AZers.


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## Jeff Isabelle (Oct 7, 2008)

*Rattler*

  I wish you all the very best this year coming. 
Positive action and living is well underway with your wife and kids keep going and get this experience behind you. Sking can wait but get her out there skiing when she is able to get her strength back. Support her tough attitude, I've skied with patients recovering (a ski program up here)  and from what you have mentioned she is very fortunate and will be fine. Just hang in and all will work out. Chemo has improved substantially over the last 2 decades, I work in the industry (I'm no authority on your subject category but I read the materials every once in a while for my job). A great many people go through the process annually and are fine... So "All the best to you and your family" and its no burden to share this experience. All of us who believe in positive mental action on your behalf  are with you
and the family.

All the best!


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## wa-loaf (Oct 8, 2008)

Jeff Isabelle said:


> I wish you all the very best this year coming.
> Positive action and living is well underway with your wife and kids keep going and get this experience behind you. Sking can wait but get her out there skiing when she is able to get her strength back. Support her tough attitude, I've skied with patients recovering (a ski program up here)  and from what you have mentioned she is very fortunate and will be fine. Just hang in and all will work out. Chemo has improved substantially over the last 2 decades, I work in the industry (I'm no authority on your subject category but I read the materials every once in a while for my job). A great many people go through the process annually and are fine... So "All the best to you and your family" and its no burden to share this experience. All of us who believe in positive mental action on your behalf  are with you
> and the family.
> 
> All the best!



Thanks, but I don't think you read through the whole thread.


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## Warp Daddy (Oct 8, 2008)

Jens  I just now saw your message .


Words at times like these fail to capture just how we ALL feel for you and your wife and the children.

 Let your goodness shine ,  enrich and sustain your beautiful lady as she continues to imprint her indelible spirit upon you and your young family.  

 While None can KNOW what this life holds , you and she can choose how you will react to this circumstance . My prayers will be for you all  that you may experience incredible peace , a deepening and sustaining love and a sense that this journey will be but a transition to a more peaceful state of being .

Warp


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## wa-loaf (Oct 8, 2008)

Warp Daddy said:


> Jens  I just now saw your message .
> 
> 
> Words at times like these fail to capture just how we ALL feel for you and your wife and the children.
> ...



Thanks Warp, you always have a wonderful way with words.


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## powbmps (Oct 9, 2008)

> Words at times like these fail to capture just how we ALL feel for you and your wife and the children.
> 
> Let your goodness shine , enrich and sustain your beautiful lady as she continues to imprint her indelible spirit upon you and your young family.
> 
> While None can KNOW what this life holds , you and she can choose how you will react to this circumstance . My prayers will be for you all that you may experience incredible peace , a deepening and sustaining love and a sense that this journey will be but a transition to a more peaceful state of being .



Well said.


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## wa-loaf (Oct 17, 2008)

My beautiful wife passed this morning:






She touched many lives and will be sorely missed. I am at a loss.


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## powbmps (Oct 17, 2008)

Terrible news.  So sorry wa-loaf.


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## Greg (Oct 17, 2008)

Oh my. I'm so sorry Jens. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through right now. There's really nothing any of us can say. Be strong for your children. This is terrible.


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## Mildcat (Oct 17, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you get all the strength you need to get through this.


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## Grassi21 (Oct 17, 2008)

So very sad.  Sorry for your loss.


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Oct 17, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss..what you're going through is the hardest thing..and I really hope you have lots of friends and family around for support..


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## o3jeff (Oct 17, 2008)

So sorry for your loss.


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## Paul (Oct 17, 2008)

I'm really sorry Jens.


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## WJenness (Oct 17, 2008)

:-( My deepest condolences Jens.

Words are so insufficient at times like these.

If there's anything I can do, please don't let me know.

-w


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## andyzee (Oct 17, 2008)

So sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.


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## Warp Daddy (Oct 17, 2008)

Jens,i cannot lucidly express to you just how much i feel for you and your children . This is life's most difficult blow 

As i look at your wife and child's picture,  her eyes absolutely capture the depth of love and the tender joy that must have dominated your brief but truly magnificent partnership. You were blessed to have such a beautiful person in your life . Beauty of the everlasting kind,  my friend , the kind that is both intrinsic and extrinsic . You will be given the strength to carry the light of her spirit .  

Know that tonite she rests in a better place and  that her strength will be imprinted in both you and your children for the  rest of your time here . Let YOUR goodness continue to shine upon others and it WILL reflect back upon you manyfold 


Be at peace -----------you were her light too when she called upon you  

Prayers and vibes to you all

Warp


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## Sky (Oct 17, 2008)

Pal....You know I never looked real hard in here to see if you'd posted this issue, the progress...and now this devastating news.

Only now did I start to hunt for it in earnest.  With the passing of Colleen...and all these friends posting their support, it's no surprise I found it right up front.

Please post the arrangements, favorite flowers, donations in lieu of, etc so we can show support to you and your family.

JG


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## Moe Ghoul (Oct 17, 2008)

I'm sorry for you and the family's loss, Jens. Her picture makes me believe there has to be a heaven for her.


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## ALLSKIING (Oct 17, 2008)

So sorry.


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## Paul (Oct 17, 2008)

Sky said:


> Please post the arrangements, favorite flowers, donations in lieu of, etc so we can show support to you and your family.
> 
> JG



+1


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## MichaelJ (Oct 17, 2008)

My deepest condolences. Honor and celebrate the life she lived, for it was clearly one full of love and happiness.


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## Sky (Oct 17, 2008)

Some very nice sentiments here folks.

Pardon me while I share with Jens and you.

Henry Van Dyke 

I am standing by the seashore. 
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze 
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch 
until at last she hangs like a peck of white cloud 
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other. 

Then someone at my side says, 'There she goes! 
Gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all. 

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar 
as she was when she left my side 
and just as able to bear her load of living freight 
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. 

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
'There she goes! ' ,
there are other eyes watching her coming, 
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
'Here she comes!'

God's Speed Colleen Garvey Kueter


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## 2knees (Oct 17, 2008)

Although no words i know can help, realize that you have people here willing to help in any way possible.   My prayers for you and your family.

Pat


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## deadheadskier (Oct 17, 2008)

Jens, peace be with you and your family.  I am so sorry my friend.  Whatever you need brother....we are all here for you.


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## BeanoNYC (Oct 18, 2008)

I am so sorry.  We are here for you.


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## RootDKJ (Oct 18, 2008)

So sad.  Best wishes to you and your family.


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## Trekchick (Oct 18, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> My beautiful wife passed this morning:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The footprint she left on your life must be profound.  
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your loved ones.


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## billski (Oct 18, 2008)

Jens,
My heartfelt and deepest sympathies.
I am are honored that you shared the news with us so quickly.
Take care,
Bill


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## danny p (Oct 18, 2008)

So sorry.


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## Glenn (Oct 18, 2008)

I'm so sorry Wa-Loaf. My condolences to you and your family.


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## severine (Oct 18, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss.  Words cannot possibly express what I'm feeling, but know that you and your children are in my thoughts.  If there is anything we can do, please, let us know.


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## Dr Skimeister (Oct 18, 2008)

I'm sorry to read of your loss. Celebrate the life you had together.


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## bvibert (Oct 18, 2008)

Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss.  Please know that we are here for you while you're going through this very difficult time.


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## snoseek (Oct 18, 2008)

Wow, I've been avoiding this thread but no longer could. Stay strong and heal properly, I don't even know what to say....maybe that life will improve even though it seems impossible right now.


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## SkiDork (Oct 18, 2008)

I saw this and immediately tears came to my eyes.  I'm crying.  I share your pain.  God be with you brother.


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## SkiDork (Oct 18, 2008)

my 8 year old daughter (a skier) just saw me crying and came over to see what was the matter.  I told her that little girls mommy just died.  She asked me who would take care of her.  I said her daddy would.  She said she would have a new mommy when her daddy got remarried.  I told her that was a good thought but it probably wouldn't happen soon.  She then said the girl looked to be about 2 months old.  I told her that looks like a good guess...

Now that I've dried my tears, just thought I'd pass that along to you...

Dork...


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## Trekchick (Oct 18, 2008)

SkiDork said:


> my 8 year old daughter (a skier) just saw me crying and came over to see what was the matter.  I told her that little girls mommy just died.  She asked me who would take care of her.  I said her daddy would.  She said she would have a new mommy when her daddy got remarried.  I told her that was a good thought but it probably wouldn't happen soon.  She then said the girl looked to be about 2 months old.  I told her that looks like a good guess...
> 
> Now that I've dried my tears, just thought I'd pass that along to you...
> 
> Dork...


Now you've got me crying again.


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## drjeff (Oct 18, 2008)

My deepest sympathies Jens.  Just keep all of those great memories you must hace accumulated over the years close to you.


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## RootDKJ (Oct 18, 2008)

Trekchick said:


> Now you've got me crying again.


I'll admit I popped a tear or two last night when I re-read the entire thread.
Once again, I'm truly sorry for your losses.


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## marcski (Oct 18, 2008)

Words are indeed inadequate at a time like this.  I've been very moved by this thread, since I first read it...  My family, like most, has also been touched and is still battling this dreadful disease.  However, for some reason, this thread has "hit" me even harder than most stories.  Not sure if its just the compounding nature of hearing of someone else.  More likely, its because its one of our "skiing brethren", who has beautiful children similar in age to my own.  I feel so sad for you and your children despite never meeting or even chatting with you directly on here.  

However hard it might seem and despite all the pain you're undoubtedly feeling, in the short and longterm, try to remember to enjoy how much you still have and share your thoughts, both painful and joyful with your family and children as she will continue to always be with you all.


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## wa-loaf (Oct 18, 2008)

Thank you all for the kind notes. This is a link to some professional photos we had taken of the family on Monday: http://www.photosbymeredith.com/Colleen/

Also, here is the obit that will be running in a few papers:



> Colleen Garvey Kueter, 40, of Leominster, MA, beloved wife of Jens C. Kueter died peacefully at her home on Friday, October 17, 2008 after a brief courageous battle with liver cancer.  She was born in New Milford, CT on March 18, 1968, the daughter of Jeanne (Wolter) Garvey Stax and the late Henry Hulton Garvey, Jr.
> 
> Colleen was educated in New Milford schools, graduating from Canterbury School in New Milford and received her bachelor degree from Simmons College in Boston.  She began her business career with GE Capitol in Danbury, CT. followed by employment with the State of Connecticut, Administrative Services in Hartford, CT, iCast.com in Woburn, MA and Press Access in Boston.
> 
> ...


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## MRGisevil (Oct 18, 2008)

Jens, your wife sounds like such a great, great woman. You must be so proud to have been a part of her life. As is everyone, I think, I am wishing there were words I could provide that would be of some consolance, though I understand my words may not do much. I hope that, at the least, the fact that our collective thoughts, prayers and hearts are with you and your family provides for you a modicum of alleviation, or a vessel of support. We offer you our love and blessings.


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## BeanoNYC (Oct 18, 2008)

> *In lieu of flowers a contribution may be made to the “Kueter Children College Fund”, c/o Avidia Bank, 53 West Main Street, Northborough, MA 01532 established in Colleen’s memory*.


Click here if you would like to contribute.  The money will go from this account to my paypal (minus fees) and I'll forward it along to Jens.   Greg/Mods?  Can we create a big fat sticky for this?


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## wa-loaf (Oct 18, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Click here if you would like to contribute.  The money will go from this account to my paypal (minus fees) and I'll forward it along to Jens.  (Note:  It won't let me contribute to myself, so I'll have to figure something out for myself)  Greg/Mods?  Can we create a big fat sticky for this?



Thanks Rich. My only concern with this is that I won't be able to keep track of individual donations for thank you's. Otherwise very cool. Thanks again.


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## BeanoNYC (Oct 18, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Thanks Rich. My only concern with this is that I won't be able to keep track of individual donations for thank you's. Otherwise very cool. Thanks again.



I think chipin keeps track and I'll forward that too.    Edit:  Deadheadskier first chipper inner.  Jens, PM me your email address and I'll forward you the individual donation information as they come in.


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## deadheadskier (Oct 18, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Click here if you would like to contribute.  The money will go from this account to my paypal (minus fees) and I'll forward it along to Jens.  (Note:  It won't let me contribute to myself, so I'll have to figure something out for myself)  Greg/Mods?  Can we create a big fat sticky for this?



Thank you for setting this up Rich.  You're a good man.  Chip in allows you to leave comments as well.


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## bigbog (Oct 18, 2008)

*....*

....my deepest sympathies Jens.

SteveD


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## Greg (Oct 18, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Click here if you would like to contribute.  The money will go from this account to my paypal (minus fees) and I'll forward it along to Jens.   Greg/Mods?  Can we create a big fat sticky for this?





wa-loaf said:


> Thanks Rich. My only concern with this is that I won't be able to keep track of individual donations for thank you's. Otherwise very cool. Thanks again.





BeanoNYC said:


> I think chipin keeps track and I'll forward that too.    Edit:  Deadheadskier first chipper inner.  Jens, PM me your email address and I'll forward you the individual donation information as they come in.





deadheadskier said:


> Thank you for setting this up Rich.  You're a good man.  Chip in allows you to leave comments as well.



deadhead PM'd me about this and I think it's a great idea. However, I think the best and cleanest approach would be for Jens to set up his own PayPal account for this. Certainly nothing against you Beano and I know you're trustworthy and thank you for taking the initiative, but when money starts changing hands, things can get...well....icky. Sad that it can get that way during a time like this, but that's the way it is. AZ is a small and pretty tight community, but don't forget that _anyone _can access these forums. Just sayin'. If Jens and Rich agree this is okay with Rich being responsible for collecting money, I really can't oppose it though. Just thought I should speak my peace.

I thought about you and your family a lot today Jens. Those family photos are wonderful and yet so incredibly sad at the same time. Take good care of those children. They need you more than ever. I'm sure the memories of your wife will give you strength during future difficult times as you continue to raise those beautiful kids. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## ccskier (Oct 18, 2008)

Deepest sympathy.  Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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## BeanoNYC (Oct 18, 2008)

Greg said:


> deadhead PM'd me about this and I think it's a great idea. However, I think the best and cleanest approach would be for Jens to set up his own PayPal account for this. Certainly nothing against you Beano and I know you're trustworthy and thank you for taking the initiative, but when money starts changing hands, things can get...well....icky. Sad that it can get that way during a time like this, but that's the way it is. AZ is a small and pretty tight community, but don't forget that _anyone _can access these forums. Just sayin'. If Jens and Rich agree this is okay with Rich being responsible for collecting money, I really can't oppose it though. Just thought I should speak my peace.



Good points.  Whatever is best for Jens.  I'm easy like Sunday morning.


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## Greg (Oct 18, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Good points.  Whatever is best for Jens.  I'm easy like Sunday morning.



Well, you guys talk about it and if it's cool with both of you, I'm fine with it.


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## wa-loaf (Oct 18, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Good points.  Whatever is best for Jens.  I'm easy like Sunday morning.



Best thing would be to send something directly to the bank, but if folks really want an online way to do it. Beano's method is ok w/me.


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## Sky (Oct 18, 2008)

Beano...great idea.  Greg, good points.

How about a combo....a "sticky" of Jens' donation addy/info?


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## skiing is life (Oct 18, 2008)

I will say a prayer for you tonight. I cant imagine the amount of sadness and pain this is causing you and im deeply sorry. god bless


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## andyzee (Oct 19, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> Click here if you would like to contribute.  The money will go from this account to my paypal (minus fees) and I'll forward it along to Jens.   Greg/Mods?  Can we create a big fat sticky for this?



Thanks for setting that up Rich.


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## highpeaksdrifter (Oct 19, 2008)

I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## JimG. (Oct 19, 2008)

I'm very sorry for your loss...how very sad.

Like Greg said, take good care of those children...they seem tough but I am sure they are hurting right now.

I know you are too, but together you will all overcome.

God bless.


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## Vortex (Oct 19, 2008)

thoughts and prayers to your family.


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## playoutside (Oct 19, 2008)

So sorry for your loss. Your pictures show a beautiful family, may your memories, family and friends comfort and cradle you during the difficult days ahead.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## krisskis (Oct 19, 2008)

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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## ComeBackMudPuddles (Oct 20, 2008)

I'm very sorry for your and your family's loss.


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## Marc (Oct 20, 2008)

PM sent, Jens.


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## hammer (Oct 20, 2008)

Truly sorry for you and your family's loss...


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## gorgonzola (Oct 20, 2008)

may God bless and watch over you and your family - having recently lost my mother to cancer and have been a breath away from losing a child, i can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like to lose my companion...may you find strength in your children, family and friends


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## Terry (Oct 21, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. Hold those children tight. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now.


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## BushMogulMaster (Oct 21, 2008)

I am deeply saddened, and wish you the very best, Jens.  Know that many, many people are thinking about--and praying for--you and your beautiful children.


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## Beetlenut (Oct 21, 2008)

Jens, I'm so saddened to hear of your beautiful wife's passing. I had hoped and prayed for a better outcome. I am understanding, at another level, what my father must have gone through when my mother passed from cancer. I could not even make it through the pictures, as your wife reminded me so much of my wife. Your children will sustain you in this time of terrible loss, and your wife will always walk by your side.


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## wa-loaf (Nov 17, 2008)

Thanks for all the contributions and well wishes. I'm going to ask Rich to wrap up the Chip-in link soon. If anyone is still interested in making a contribution you can still send it directly to the account listed at the end of the obit.

Thanks again,
Jens


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## BeanoNYC (Nov 17, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Thanks for all the contributions and well wishes. I'm going to ask Rich to wrap up the Chip-in link soon. If anyone is still interested in making a contribution you can still send it directly to the account listed at the end of the obit.
> 
> Thanks again,
> Jens



All wrapped up.  $$ sent via paypal to Jens.  All together $375.  Not too shabby.  I also forwarded all contributor information to Jens per his request.  Chipin is officially closed.


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## wa-loaf (Nov 17, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> All wrapped up.  $$ sent via paypal to Jens.  All together $375.  Not too shabby.  I also forwarded all contributor information to Jens per his request.  Chipin is officially closed.



Thanks Rich! 

FYI, approximately $18,000 has been contributed altogether so far and still counting. I am absolutely amazed at that number.


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## BeanoNYC (Nov 17, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> FYI, approximately $18,000 has been contributed altogether so far and still counting.



:-o


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## wa-loaf (Nov 17, 2008)

BeanoNYC said:


> :-o



Yea, there are a lot of thankyou's to send out. My wife was involved with a bunch of online forums related to knitting, cloth diapering, and a couple fertility related sites. They all banded together and donated items that were auctioned off. That brought in 10k by itself. She had a lot of friends.


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## severine (Nov 17, 2008)

That is so wonderful that they did that in her memory, Jens. Your wife was very loved indeed.


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## Sky (Nov 17, 2008)

Jens...all you need now is double digit interest rates like the Carter years and....wait, was that a political jab?

*re-e-e-e-buffering*

Congrats pal...so glad to see that sort of support.


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## wa-loaf (Nov 17, 2008)

Well, at least they are getting in at the bottom of the market. I hope . . . Their existing fund has really taken a hit. Like everyone else I'm sure.


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## awf170 (Nov 18, 2008)

Did you buy a Wachusett pass this season?  If not, and if you have time to use it, we'll all pitch in and get you one.  I missed out Beano's fund raiser since I just saw this thread today.


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## wa-loaf (Nov 18, 2008)

I already got my pass. I should be there every Thursday night for racing. If you are around I do accept free beers. 

If you would like to do more, even though the online option is closed you can still send something directly to the bank.


> a contribution may be made to the “Kueter Children College Fund”, c/o Avidia Bank, 53 West Main Street, Northborough, MA 01532 established in Colleen’s memory.



Do you babysit? I might need someone last minute on powder days . . . :-D


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## severine (Nov 18, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> Do you babysit? I might need someone last minute on powder days . . . :-D


That's probably the best gift you could give, Austin!


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## awf170 (Nov 18, 2008)

severine said:


> That's probably the best gift you could give, Austin!





wa-loaf said:


> I already got my pass. Ishould be there every Thursday night for racing. If you are around I do accept free beers.
> 
> If you would like to do more, even though the online option is closed you can still send something directly to the bank.
> 
> ...



Can you get me fake ID, if so then I will have your beer in no time.  If not we'll have to wait for next season.  Though I could just sneak a pack into the lodge.  Do you prefer Natty Ice or PBR?;-)

And yeah, I'll send something to the bank in the time I go home, which will probably be in a week or two.  I think you'll like that more than me baby sitting your kids.  Have you trained them to Calc III or Differential equation yet?  If so, then we might have ourselves a solution.


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## Breeze (Nov 18, 2008)

Jens, 

I hardly know  what to ask my fingers to type,  what  to say,  how  to express what  I feel..  I  read this  thread this  morning, have  been dumbfounded and in  a fog all day. I  was   knocked  out  emotionally when  I read the text of   Colleen's  obituary. That is  when  I  knew how  small a  world we share.

I was  very late to see this thread, and   I  am very late to offer condolences on the tragic  loss you've  sustained.  Please forgive  my late arrival here,  please accept my prayers, and  know that I am thinking about you and your  children, and  wish the very best  for  you as  you find your  way beyond the  huge blow  you've  been  dealt.

You don't  know  me, nor  do I know  you,  in adult  life..... but  you  must  know that this is  a very small world.   

I   don't  want  to  embarrass either of  us,  but  I  will share  with you  that  WE  DO  have  a small world history.

I was  a 17 year old  college  freshman  in 1970, living  in  Dana  Hall at  Colby  College.  Your  Dad and  Mom were   Dorm  Advisers,  my Dorm  Parents.   You  were  2-3 years  old at the time and I was   sad and  lonely and  overwhelmed to be away  from  my  family.  I  had a very  little  sister  close  to  your  age at the time,  and  when  you   zoomed  about the  cafeteria in  PJ's  and  claimed  hugs,  you  sustained  for  us some  very  real  connections  to  the  world for  some  of us who  were  unsettled and  confused.   Yes,  I  did child- sit  for you in that  time frame   and let  your  folks have  an evening  out on occasion.

My  sister worked  for your  Dad  in  his restaurant  venture   a few years  after  my   graduation. 

I've  always  supported  Colby with an  alumnus  donation, but now that  money will go to you and   yours.

It wont  be  big,  but  it will be  my  choice..    Now it is  personal.  

Breeze


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## RootDKJ (Nov 18, 2008)

wa-loaf said:


> If you are around I do accept free beers.



It is my sincere hope to be able to buy you a round this season. :beer:


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## BeanoNYC (Nov 18, 2008)

Breeze said:


> Jens,
> 
> I hardly know  what to ask my fingers to type,  what  to say,  how  to express what  I feel..  I  read this  thread this  morning, have  been dumbfounded and in  a fog all day. I  was   knocked  out  emotionally when  I read the text of   Colleen's  obituary. That is  when  I  knew how  small a  world we share.
> 
> ...



Amazing!  

I'm assuming that since you just made this connection you haven't read  Mr. Keuter's book yet?  It's wonderful.


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## wa-loaf (Nov 18, 2008)

Breeze said:


> Jens,
> 
> I hardly know  what to ask my fingers to type,  what  to say,  how  to express what  I feel..  I  read this  thread this  morning, have  been dumbfounded and in  a fog all day. I  was   knocked  out  emotionally when  I read the text of   Colleen's  obituary. That is  when  I  knew how  small a  world we share.
> 
> ...



Wow, very cool. Some of my first memories are of living in Dana. My Dad is retired now and as Rich pointed out has written a book. My son is about the same age I was then. 

They say he looks a lot like I did then:


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## severine (Nov 18, 2008)

Handsome little guy!  Do I see an amber teething necklace?

Small world indeed!


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## wa-loaf (Nov 18, 2008)

severine said:


> Handsome little guy!  Do I see an amber teething necklace?
> 
> Small world indeed!



Yup, that's from this summer so he's a little taller and less chubby now.


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