# You might be a Gaper if



## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

*Gaper *- A beginner skier or snowboarder who has no clue as to what they're doing on the mountain, but they don't know it. They crash all over the place and get in your way. Refered to as a gaper because of the gap between their hat and goggles, also known as a gaper-gap.

So anyways, you might be a gaper if:

#1.  You do the Gaper Tuck. Hands tight to the chest, bend at the waist, just a little bend at the knees and stick your poles almost straight up. (I've seen it 1,000 times, but it always makes me smile).:grin:


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

#2. You still think the fluorescent all in one "romper suit" is cool... :lol:


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## JimG. (May 1, 2006)

#3: You think skiing an expert run consists of walking down holding your skis and poles.
#3a: You think skiing an expert run consists of losing all your equipment and sliding down 
       the run completely out of control.


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

#4 - You think shaped skis are just a fad. You’re stickin to your 205 cm Rossi 4S’s.


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## JimG. (May 1, 2006)

#5: You think that powder is something you put on your nose in the ladies room.
#5a: You think that powder is something you put up your nose in the ladies room.


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## hammer (May 1, 2006)

#6. You think you're an expert because you can ski a black run at a 200' vertical ski area...


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

#7 - You just got your rear entry boots broken in just right.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

#8 You carry your skis from the lot by cradling them like a baby...


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

#9- You think down and cotton are the materials of choice for ski clothes.


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## NYDrew (May 1, 2006)

#10 - Your last run of the day is a mike hard lemonaid (real skiiers drink jager)
#11 - You've never worn duct tape.
#12 - Whats a headwall?


No fair, I still have a gap between my hat and goggles and I'm a "professional".  Its not my fault I have poofy hair that pushes my hat/helmit up over the course of the day.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

#13 - You use a Ski-Tote.


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

#14 - You have every lift ticket you ever purchased attached to your jacket.


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## thetrailboss (May 1, 2006)

#15.  The only way to ski an expert run is by straightlining it.


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

thetrailboss said:
			
		

> #15. The only way to ski an expert run is by straightlining it.


 
You walk around Manhattan constently staring up at the big building. Sorry, had to get it in


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

#16 - While standing in a lift line a fellow skier of the opposite sex asks if you're single you reply "Sorry,  I'm married". My wife actually said that one time.:lol:


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

NUMBER SEVENTEEN!!!!   You're the master of the double pole plant


NUMBER EIGHTEEN!!!!     you ski in a "team" jacket


Better?


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

Your soaked and partially frozen jeans are tucked into your rental boots.


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

Ahh.....could you guys number your posts please. :-?


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

#20 - You don't number your posts


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## thetrailboss (May 1, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> You walk around Manhattan constently staring up at the big building. Sorry, had to get it in



EVIL!  :lol:  

This has to do with skiing though :wink:


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

#20 You've uttered the phrase "I do black diamonds"


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## hammer (May 1, 2006)

2knees said:
			
		

> #20 You've uttered the phrase "I do black diamonds"


 #20a You've uttered the phrase "I do _triple_ black diamonds"


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> Ahh.....could you guys number your posts please. :-?


Check the ski bum thread. The bumbering went out the window by the end of page one as folks cross-posts...


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## thetrailboss (May 1, 2006)

#22.  You're too cool to ride the lift with anyone else except your fur clad spouse and you make an effort to avoid other people on every ride, even if the lifties place you with other riders.  

#23.  You spend too much time talking about "how cool your expensive skis ski for you."  Notice the distinction.  :wink:


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## hammer (May 1, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> Check the ski bum thread. The *bumbering* went out the window by the end of page one as folks cross-posts...


 Was this spelling intentional?


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

#25 You've complained that they didnt groom the powder.


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

#26 - You see no reason to get to the slope before 10am


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 1, 2006)

# 27 - You say you love to ski moguls, then proceed to traverse back and forth across the zipper line.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

hammer said:
			
		

> Was this spelling intentional?


I'm a blumbering blunderer...


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> I'm a blumbering blunderer...


 
Gaper!


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> #26 - You see no reason to get to the slope before 10am



color me gaperific then.  cause i rarely see any reason to start early.  short of a powder day, i run out of gas before i run out of time.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

#28. You attach your lift ticket to the main zipper of your starter jacket so it smacks you in the face as you speed out of control...

#29. You've been so hot that you have to completely unzip your jacket so it flaps in the wind like a cape...


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

#30 You struggle loading or unloading a *detachable *chair!


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> #28. You attach your lift ticket to the main zipper of your starter jacket so it smacks you in the face as you speed out of control...
> 
> #29. You've been so hot that you have to completely unzip your jacket so it flaps in the wind like a cape...



hahahahaha.  that's some funny stuff.

how about the fabled right of spring gapers? #31 the shorts OVER the ski pants.


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## teachski (May 1, 2006)

#32 You ask how the brakes work on the skis (I actually had someone ask me this)

#33 You match from head to two, including your ski socks and skis.

#34 You go in for lunch at noon.

#35 You buy your ski equipment at yardsales and/or get it at the swap shed at your local landfill.

#36 You think you are supposed to sit down on a t-bar or poma lift.

#37 Your poles are flailing all over when you go down the slope in your flying wedge.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

You wear camo hunter coveralls; worse in hunter orange... :lol:


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## Vortex (May 1, 2006)

36.

You go to your 1st lesson with your skies and your winter snow boots..  My 1st day 35 plus year ago.


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

teachski said:
			
		

> #32 You ask how the brakes work on the skis (I actually had someone ask me this)
> 
> #33 You match from head to two, including your ski socks and skis.
> 
> ...


 
Easy to see that your job gives you plenty of exposure to gapers. Those were some good ones.


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## hammer (May 1, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> #30 You struggle loading or unloading a *detachable *chair!


 I fell unloading from the Sunapee Express Quad once because it swung from side to side just as it came to the unloading area...my bad for sitting on one side of the lift with 3 kids.

I guess I was a gaper that day...


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

hammer said:
			
		

> I guess I was a gaper that day...


We've all gaped. It's like a right of passage. I've still been known to unzip the jacket to cool off; just as long as nobody is around...


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

2knees said:
			
		

> color me gaperific then. cause i rarely see any reason to start early. short of a powder day, i run out of gas before i run out of time.


 
Sorry, some of these could apply to me as well, . I guess that maybe with the exception of Marc, we may all still have a little gaper in us.


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## Greg (May 1, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> I guess that maybe with the exception of Marc, we may all still have a little gaper in us.


The first step in recovery is being able to indentify what is gaperness.


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## 2knees (May 1, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> Sorry, some of these could apply to me as well, . I guess that maybe with the exception of Marc, we may all still have a little gaper in us.



it's all in good fun.  i was laughing when i read your post cause i'm a lazy a$$ 10-3 skier.  errr gaper.


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## JimG. (May 1, 2006)

#38: You arrive at your first lesson with JimG. with your left boot on your right foot and vice versa and then proceed to complain that your boots don't seem to fit very well.

True story...and I went cross eyed trying to figure out what was wrong with that picture until my eyes finally realized what was going on. There is no dignified way to sit down in the middle of the beginner area and take your boots off to switch feet.


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## teachski (May 1, 2006)

#39 You get boots to "fit" you that are actually 2 sizes too big because they are more comfortable and roomy like slippers.

#40 You think that I ski well (lol) 

#41 You have driving gloves on, or knitted mittens.  

#42 Your ski socks and your gym socks are the same pair.

#43 You have 3 pair of heavy socks on because you think it will keep your feet warmer.

#44 You are envious of the little kids that make it down the slope only falling once.


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## noski (May 1, 2006)

#41 You are always keeping an eye out for a red jacket with white cross (ie sledhaulingmedic)- ...just in case.
#42 You ride the lift down and wave to all the people you know who are going up. Maybe that didn't make me a gaper.... maybe that meant I knew I was in over my head and was not afraid to admit it...

(edit, re-numbered)


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## teachski (May 1, 2006)

OK, so this is a true story...I once found a kid at the area where I work with tube socks on for mittens...his feet were bare in the boots, they were rear entry three or more sizes too big and they were not buckled.  He had lost his ski and boot and it was heading down the hill and he was sitting there with his bare foot in the snow, complaining his foot was cold.


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## ski_resort_observer (May 1, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> You walk around Manhattan constently staring up at the big building. Sorry, had to get it in



Your from NYC and you stop in the middle of an icy road in Vermont just to take a picture of a couple of cows. :wink:


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## andyzee (May 1, 2006)

ski_resort_observer said:
			
		

> Your from NYC and you stop in the middle of an icy road in Vermont just to take a picture of a couple of cows. :wink:


 
Not me.


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## Npage148 (May 1, 2006)

haha, that reminds me of a bike ride i took with a friend from the city.  The ride was around rural Western NY. He stopped and told me he never seen a horse in a field w/o a saddle on.


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## ga2ski (May 1, 2006)

## I have no clue . You follow your boyfriend up to the mountain every weekend for to take a few runs and call it "quality time".

##+1 you look the part (i.e.) really expensive ski clothes, but can't ski.

##+2 Your boots shatter and socks fall out (that are shoved in the front because they are about 5 sizes too big) because your parents bought them at a yardsale, but kept them near the radiator in the basement. Apparent heat and cold extremes decreases the strength of the shells. (real story when from when I used to coach).


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## catskills (May 2, 2006)

teachski said:
			
		

> #35 You buy your ski equipment at yardsales and/or get it at the swap shed at your local landfill..


Hey wait a minute.  What is wrong with perfectly good gear from landfills.?


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## Ski Diva (May 2, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> #16 - While standing in a lift line a fellow skier of the opposite sex asks if you're single you reply "Sorry,  I'm married". My wife actually said that one time.:lol:



Be glad this was her first reaction!


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## Phildozer (May 2, 2006)

hammer said:
			
		

> #6. You think you're an expert because you can ski a black run at a 200' vertical ski area...




That's priceless!

One of the kids in my neighborhood love to talk skiing with me and he says he's an expert because he skis the "black diamond" trail at Ski Ward.

Ah, to be 11 years old again...


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## Phildozer (May 2, 2006)

teachski said:
			
		

> #33 You match from head to two, including your ski socks and skis.





This just means you're from New York, most likely the North Shore of Long Island.


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## jackstraw (May 2, 2006)

(usually viewed from the lift) in awe of the heel rider w/ his skis locked so close together its as if he's riding a monoboard.


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## Greg (May 2, 2006)

You wear a face mask on a 30 degree day...


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## JimG. (May 2, 2006)

Phildozer said:
			
		

> This just means you're from New York, most likely the North Shore of Long Island.



Take a look at some ski areas outside of New England...the matching ski outfits usually mean you're from Texas.


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## bvibert (May 2, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> You wear a face mask on a 30 degree day...


Last season I was working the top of our beginner lift on a particularly warm Feb. day.  I had on some of those nylon pants that you can un-zip the legs to make them into shorts, so I did.  It was pretty funny seeing the looks on the faces of the newbs who were all bundled up (some even with face masks) while I was standing there with shorts and a t-shirt on.


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## ski_resort_observer (May 2, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> #16 - While standing in a lift line a fellow skier of the opposite sex asks if you're single you reply "Sorry,  I'm married". My wife actually said that one time.:lol:



Good one! Not heard that one before. #13 is such a classic.

Your on the chairlift and you hear "hi" from the guy next to you and when you return that act of cordialness you realize he is on the phone and wasn't talking to you. You then overhear him say " did you know they have towns up here that don't have traffic lights" , "I didn't get any sleep in the condo, it was too quiet", next trip I'm downloading some sound effects that have gunshots and horns blaring into my Ipod". 

When I was younger I thought gapers were annoying and deserved no respect whatsoever. Now it's the complete opposite. If it wasn't for the gapers not sure what the ski resort industry would be like. Not sure if this is true overall but from what I have experienced they  spend more money at the resorts than the hardcore experienced skiers/riders do?


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 2, 2006)

2knees said:
			
		

> NUMBER SEVENTEEN!!!!   You're the master of the double pole plant



That's a good one. You see people doing that all the time, especially in bumps.


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## bvibert (May 2, 2006)

ski_resort_observer said:
			
		

> If it wasn't for the gapers not sure what the ski resort industry would be like. Not sure if this is true overall but from what I have experienced they  spend more money at the resorts than the hardcore experienced skiers/riders do?


If it wasn't for 'gapers' I don't think there would be much of a ski industry at all.

Besides, everyone has to start somewhere!


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## thetrailboss (May 2, 2006)

Number 1,000:  You ski on Budweiser skis.


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## ga2ski (May 2, 2006)

thetrailboss said:
			
		

> Number 1,000: You ski on Budweiser skis.


 
In your Camel coat.


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## ga2ski (May 2, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> #16 - While standing in a lift line a fellow skier of the opposite sex asks if you're single you reply "Sorry, I'm married". My wife actually said that one time.:lol:


 
Similar thing happened to my Dad at 2 for 1 day at Cannon back in the early 90's.  My dad didn't realize that it was a 2 for 1 day as he was there helping with our high school race.  Anyway he was peeing at the urinal when a guy walked in and said "Are you here alone". . .. . .  My dad didn't know what to do.  Then the guy said "today is 2 for 1 tickets"


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## meat (May 2, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> You wear a face mask on a 30 degree day...



this is priceless, I love it when people wear neoprene face masks on warm days.

ultimate gaper outfit while spring skiing:
1. jeans tucked into rear-entry boots
2. early 90s starter jacket 
3. no gloves
4. Coke bottle eyeglasses
5. classic neoprene face mask
ski of choice: snowblades


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 3, 2006)

meat said:
			
		

> this is priceless, I love it when people wear neoprene face masks on warm days.
> 
> ultimate gaper outfit while spring skiing:
> 1. jeans tucked into rear-entry boots
> ...



I don't get Coke bottle eyeglasses. If they need them to see why does that make them a gaper?


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## meat (May 3, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> I don't get Coke bottle eyeglasses. If they need them to see why does that make them a gaper?



just thought it would be the icing on the cake to have some big thick glasses hanging over the face mask to top off the ultimate gaper outfit.  ATTN: wearing glasses doesn't make you a gaper, thats not what i'm trying to say.  I wear glasses too, sorry if you took offence highpeakdrifter I guess I should have clarified more.


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## shwilly (May 3, 2006)

This silly, silly trip report is a reminder: when using skiwear cues for gaper identification, make sure you don't fall for gape-irony.


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## meat (May 3, 2006)

shwilly said:
			
		

> This silly, silly trip report is a reminder: when using skiwear cues for gaper identification, make sure you don't fall for gape-irony.



Nice!!


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## teachski (May 4, 2006)

Yes, that's true...but there are other HUGE clues that will tell you if similarly clad persons are actually gappers...there are some subtle ones too...like the way they walk in the boots.  Real skiers are able to walk in their boots.


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## skibum1321 (May 4, 2006)

Another instance of gaper irony would be in the extras from "Born From Ice". There are a couple of segments where they do it.

I also saw some rather disturbing ones at Sugarbush on Sunday. It was a bunch of guys that were wearing girls clothes that were wayyy too tight.


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 4, 2006)

They use to have a kinda Gaper Day promotion at Whiteface, only they called it Retro Day. You received a ticket for I think 25 or 30 bucks if you wore or used "Vintage" apperal or gear. I don't know way they didn't do it this season, it was a fun event.


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## Phildozer (May 4, 2006)

skibum1321 said:
			
		

> I also saw some rather disturbing ones at Sugarbush on Sunday. It was a bunch of guys that were wearing girls clothes that were wayyy too tight.




Are you sure that was at Sugarbush and not at that "Fancy Bar" you stopped at on the way home?


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## Marc (May 4, 2006)

andyzee said:
			
		

> Sorry, some of these could apply to me as well, . I guess that maybe with the exception of Marc, we may all still have a little gaper in us.




Wait, was that sarcasm or a compliment?  Damnit Andy, you have to treat your number 1 movie star with A Class treatment here.

I need an agent I think.  Or a union.




So anyway... how is the word pronounced anyway?  The way you guys spell it confuses me.  "Gaper" to me sounds like me when my mouth is gaping open at a hot little ski bunny brothel employee candidate.

"Gapper" is how I would spell the word if you wish it to be pronounced as Gap - r.

I suppose just asking makes me one though eh?  Har....


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## Greg (May 4, 2006)

_gay - pur_ sounds funnier to me. Gaping with the mouth wide open in the classic hunched over, hands to chest, antenna-like ski pole tuck is just classic. Throw a pom pom hat in there with the signature gaper gap between the hat and goggles and you've got some real entertainment.... :lol:


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## Marc (May 4, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> _gay - pur_ sounds funnier to me. Gaping with the mouth wide open in the classic hunched over, hands to chest, antenna-like ski pole tuck is just classic. Throw a pom pom hat in there with the signature gaper gap between the hat and goggles and you've got some real entertainment.... :lol:



Well I'd think if the term originated from the _gap_ between the goggles and the hat, it should be "gapper"...

Personally, I don't call them anything... I just laugh (Marc, how mean spirited of you, we've _all_ been there at one point or another)

I do have a name for the jeans guys though, most of the time showing up at Snow or Wa wearing the Starter jacket... we call them "double D" for "Denim Daredevil"


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## freeheelwilly (May 4, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> They use to have a kinda Gaper Day promotion at Whiteface, only they called it Retro Day. You received a ticket for I think 25 or 30 bucks if you wore or used "Vintage" apperal or gear. I don't know way they didn't do it this season, it was a fun event.


 
They did.  It was mid-week.  A Tuesday I think.  I went.  Ghost and clown were there.  It was a blast - mostly locals.  Slides were open.  Keg of beer up on the deck at the top of the gondola; bar-b-qs roaring away.  Hot plates with bubbling venision stew. Beautiful spring day, blue bird.  Par-T!  :beer: Where were you???


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 4, 2006)

freeheelwilly said:
			
		

> They did.  It was mid-week.  A Tuesday I think.  I went.  Ghost and clown were there.  It was a blast - mostly locals.  Slides were open.  Keg of beer up on the deck at the top of the gondola; bar-b-qs roaring away.  Hot plates with bubbling venision stew. Beautiful spring day, blue bird.  Par-T!  :beer: Where were you???



Dang, I was working! It use to be held on a Sunday. Sounds like it was a perfect day. Was that the day Tass had a fit cause somebody moved P-didy's pack?


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## andyzee (May 4, 2006)

Marc said:
			
		

> Wait, was that sarcasm or a compliment? Damnit Andy, you have to treat your number 1 movie star with A Class treatment here.


 
Marc, I sincerely said what I did out of respect of your unquestionable skills as a skier. There is no way anyone here could accuse you of being a gaper. :beer:


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## nightingale (May 5, 2006)

> You might be a Gaper if


You think any terrain at Loon Mountain is difficult..


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## freeheelwilly (May 5, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> Dang, I was working! It use to be held on a Sunday. Sounds like it was a perfect day. Was that the day Tass had a fit cause somebody moved P-didy's pack?


 
I don't think so.  I think that happened earlier.


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## Geoff (May 5, 2006)

You might be a gaper if... you own an "I skied Outer Limits" T-shirt.

You might be a gaper if... you drive to the mountain during a snow storm in a Camaro with summer tires.

You might be a gaper if... your hat has antlers.


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## hammer (May 5, 2006)

Geoff said:
			
		

> You might be a gaper if... your hat has antlers.


What if your helmet has horns attached?


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## Greg (May 5, 2006)

hammer said:
			
		

> What if your helmet has horns attached?


Yup. Definitely gaper. Jester hats are way gaper too.


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## hammer (May 5, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> Yup. Definitely gaper. Jester hats are way gaper too.


 Hopefully kids are exempt...I like them for the kids because it makes it easier for me to find them on the slopes.:smile:


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## Greg (May 5, 2006)

hammer said:
			
		

> Hopefully kids are exempt...I like them for the kids because it makes it easier for me to find them on the slopes.:smile:


Oh yes. I think kids are exempt from most gaperness.


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## Marc (May 5, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> Yup. Definitely gaper. Jester hats are way gaper too.



What about the baseball hats with the pull cord that make the hands sticking out of the front of the hat clap?


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## bvibert (May 8, 2006)

Marc said:
			
		

> What about the baseball hats with the pull cord that make the hands sticking out of the front of the hat clap?


I haven't seen one of those in years, pretty gapperish like though...


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## Greg (May 17, 2006)

*You might be a Gaper if...*

You've ever posed for and actually bought a photo from an official ski area photographer...


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 17, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> You've ever posed for and actually bought a photo from an official ski area photographer...



Good one. What brought that to mind?


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## Greg (May 17, 2006)

I read that elsewhere...


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## jackstraw (May 17, 2006)

Greg said:
			
		

> You've ever posed for and actually bought a photo from an official ski area photographer...



im a gaper!  

i suppose that i wasn't "posing" 'cause i was actually tele skiing down blitz in taos when he took the pic.  i sent it to my parents and they were psyched.


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 17, 2006)

jackstraw said:
			
		

> im a gaper!
> .



I never had any doubt.


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## jackstraw (May 17, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:
			
		

> I never had any doubt.



i luv u man!


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## highpeaksdrifter (May 17, 2006)

jackstraw said:
			
		

> i luv u man!



 Awww....shucks


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## Greg (Sep 8, 2006)

You might be a Gaper if...

You have a wad of lift tickets from every single ski area you've ever been to hanging off your jacket. :lol:


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## Greg (Sep 8, 2006)

andyzee said:


> #14 - You have every lift ticket you ever purchased attached to your jacket.



Doh! I threw a repeat up there. And one that andyzee orginally posted no less. :roll: 

Now I feel like a big gaper...


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## Grassi21 (Sep 8, 2006)

You might be a Gaper if your screen name is Grassi21.  :lol:

I love self deprecation.


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## Birdman829 (Sep 8, 2006)

I take offense to the double pole plant one.  The trusty double pole plant has gotten me out of a few sticky situations.  If you use it VERY SPARINGLY it's OK.  I have also been known to wear work gloves in the spring.


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## andyzee (Sep 8, 2006)

Greg said:


> Doh! I threw a repeat up there. And one that andyzee orginally posted no less. :roll:
> 
> Now I feel like a big gaper...


 
Hey, watch that chit!


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## andyzee (Sep 8, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:


> #16 - While standing in a lift line a fellow skier of the opposite sex asks if you're single you reply "Sorry, I'm married". My wife actually said that one time.:lol:


 
Why is she sorry that she's married?


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## freeheelwilly (Sep 8, 2006)

andyzee said:


> Why is she sorry that she's married?


You sure would be if you were his wife


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## highpeaksdrifter (Sep 8, 2006)

Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of *Freeheelwilly* and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.


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## bvibert (Sep 8, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:


> Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of *Freeheelwilly* and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.



Which one is FHW and which is the GF??


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## Greg (Sep 8, 2006)

Just say *no* to day-glo...


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## Greg (Sep 16, 2006)

Attention all AlpineZoners: Please make sure a pic of you does not make it on this Web site this season:

http://www.gaperhunter.com/

:lol:


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## Geoff (Sep 17, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:


> Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of *Freeheelwilly* and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.



The skis are all wrong for those stretch pants.  Should be:


----------



## 2knees (Sep 17, 2006)

lol, who didnt own a pair of 4S at one time or another?  they were everywhere.


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## sledhaulingmedic (Sep 18, 2006)

2knees said:


> lol, who didnt own a pair of 4S at one time or another? they were everywhere.


 
I think I still have a pair or two in the garage (the grey and black ones).

I need some day glo.  It's so passe it's becoming retro-chic, like my mullet.


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## SkiDork (Sep 18, 2006)

ahem...  That reminds me of the episode last season - where I commented to my chair mate (can't remember who it was) "check out the cute ass on that chick over there"

When we got off the chair and saw who had the "cute ass" - it was a guy...



aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggg.....!!!!!!


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## freeheelwilly (Sep 18, 2006)

highpeaksdrifter said:


> Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of *Freeheelwilly* and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.


 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:   Check out the different colored gators!  "Should I wear the puke green day-glo or the hot pink day-glo?  I just can't decide!  Wait a minute - I've got it!"


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## highpeaksdrifter (Sep 18, 2006)

freeheelwilly said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:   Check out the different colored gators!  "Should I wear the puke green day-glo or the hot pink day-glo?  I just can't decide!  Wait a minute - I've got it!"



It has to be 2 guys at a "Gaper Day". To think anything else is scary.


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## from_the_NEK (Dec 4, 2006)

You might be a gaper if.... Your are wearing this get-up:


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## eastcoastskiier (Dec 4, 2006)

Your a gaper if your ski helmet is also your:
             -ice hockey
             -roller hockey
             -mountain bike
                             ..helmet


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## PowderDeprived (Dec 5, 2006)

You Might Be A Gaper, if you stop on the outer 3/4 of a trail trail, because you don't want to fall off the edge, take off your skis, sit down and take a break.  Then get up and trip over your skis which are pointing strait down up the 150' vert bunny slope trying to click back into your bindings.


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## Grassi21 (Dec 5, 2006)

eastcoastskiier said:


> Your a gaper if your ski helmet is also your:
> -ice hockey
> -roller hockey
> -mountain bike
> ..helmet



I was joking around with my wife that I would wear my lax helmet on the slopes one day.


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## JimG. (Dec 5, 2006)

from_the_NEK said:


> You might be a gaper if.... Your are wearing this get-up:



That's hard on the eyes...especially hard since I've seen that shot before.

Looks like Patrick from over on FTO. He still uses pink poles.


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## from_the_NEK (Dec 5, 2006)

> That's hard on the eyes...especially hard since I've seen that shot before.



I thought I had posted this somewhere once before. It is actually a shot from Burke last winter. My friend and I saw her (I'm assuming it was a "her" :lol: ) skiing down a trail and we were determined to get the outfit on film. So back down at the lift we were hanging out until the Pink and Furrry one came into view. I then started taking video and disguised ourselves and our mission by pretending to interview my friend about the days conditions. Meanwhile I was actually shooting the Pink and Furrry in the background over his shoulder. It was priceless :-D 
I took a still shot out of the video to post, hense the grainy look.


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## JimG. (Dec 5, 2006)

from_the_NEK said:


> I thought I had posted this somewhere once before. It is actually a shot from Burke last winter. My friend and I saw her (I'm assuming it was a "her" :lol: ) skiing down a trail and we were determined to get the outfit on film. So back down at the lift we were hanging out until the Pink and Furrry one came into view. I then started taking video and disguised ourselves and our mission by pretending to interview my friend about the days conditions. Meanwhile I was actually shooting the Pink and Furrry in the background over his shoulder. It was priceless :-D
> I took a still shot out of the video to post, hense the grainy look.



I guess she'll never have to worry about getting shot by a hunter.

Skiers are another matter.


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## eastcoastskiier (Dec 6, 2006)

your a gapper if:
        - you buy a new pair of skis, and have the shop adjust the bindings to your rear 
                       entry's

        - You buy a pair of flat used skis at a swap, and have the local shop take the 
                     bindings of your straight skis and mount them on the new ones.

        - you get offended when you take your skis to the shop to get the bindings adjusted 
                     and they tell you that they are no longer able to work on them


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## Brettski (Dec 6, 2006)

JimG. said:


> I guess she'll never have to worry about getting shot by a hunter.



She might get shot *at* Hunter


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## theguy10 (Dec 6, 2006)

-if you think a fall line is a kind of country dance
-if you think a bunny slope is a petting zoo for the kids
-if you are amazed by all the people on this site who love to carve mashed potatoes, why would anybody use a knife on potatoes?


----------



## eatskisleep (Dec 6, 2006)

From one of my trip reports last season:
http://forums.alpinezone.com/6578-wildcat-mountain-december-28th-2005-a.html


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## JimG. (Dec 7, 2006)

eatskisleep said:


> From one of my trip reports last season:
> http://forums.alpinezone.com/6578-wildcat-mountain-december-28th-2005-a.html



Oh my...

blinded by the light.


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## from_the_NEK (Dec 7, 2006)

You'd be able to see that guy if he was holding that same pose, on the other side of the road all the way over in Tuckerman's


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## Sheik Yerbouti (Dec 7, 2006)

eatskisleep said:


> From one of my trip reports last season:
> http://forums.alpinezone.com/6578-wildcat-mountain-december-28th-2005-a.html



Well at least he/she won't be shot.


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## Brettski (Dec 7, 2006)

andyzee said:


> #14 - You have every lift ticket you ever purchased attached to your jacket.




Hey now...I have a short memory


----------



## Greg (Dec 7, 2006)

Just say *no *to day-*glo*... uke:


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## The Sneak (Dec 7, 2006)

-You prefer snowboarding over skiing and are vocal about how lame skiing is and how rad you are for snowboarding. OMG UR 2 EXTREME, BRAH!!1. CAN I HANG??? Easily giving away gaper snowboarders since the early 90s. 

-You buy all yer gear at Ski Market. every year.

-You haul your new gear around with your trusty 'ski tote.' bonus points for utilizing the spring loaded 'boot tote' as well. So handy!

-You still have lange 'mid entry' boots.

-Probably already mentioned: the mighty CB jacket. bonus points for dayglo orange and black.

-You wear those red neoprene nose and mouth gaiters ski shops used to sell a ton of.

- You break out your 210cm Olin Mark IVs and look with disdain at the little wimpy short skis people are using these days.

- While riding the chairlift, you watch a jersey-turner tear up the blue groomer below and marvel at 'how close together his feet are'.

-Your hands have a death grip on the safety bar before anyone else is even seated, and you release the death grip only when your skis touch terra firma again.


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## Sheik Yerbouti (Dec 7, 2006)

Ugh... flashback.. I remember my parents giving me a lime green 7up jacket they were giving away if you mailed in a zillion whatevers. It had the logo on the left breast and the sleeves unzipped to make it a vest. 
I think I buried it in the yard..


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## JimG. (Dec 7, 2006)

Sheik Yerbouti said:


> Well at least he/she won't be shot.



At least not unintentionally.


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## eatskisleep (Dec 7, 2006)

JimG. said:


> At least not unintentionally.


 
:lol:


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## eastcoastskiier (Dec 8, 2006)

this is at Okemo, at it was prolly 10deg outside


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## ski_resort_observer (Dec 8, 2006)

NEK...hope you don't mind, I just couldn't help myself.....:lol:


----------



## thetrailboss (Dec 9, 2006)

You might be a gaper if you pose for a promo pic at a ski area.....or don't pose at all:


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## andyzee (Dec 9, 2006)

You might be a gaper if you live close to Burke and on opening day you sit at home posting on AlpineZone :roll:


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## thetrailboss (Dec 9, 2006)

andyzee said:


> You might be a gaper if you live close to Burke and on opening day you sit at home posting on AlpineZone :roll:



*THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!!!!* :lol:  

Wait, he's talking about me..... 

Burke has one trail open....about 1/4 of a mile long or so...and it is 150 roundtrip miles from here.  

What's better is the guy who stays home in NY/NJ and misses a great pow weekend at K-mart.  :wink:


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## Chris I (Dec 9, 2006)

eastcoastskiier said:


> this is at Okemo, at it was prolly 10deg outside



I've been there.  Okemo a few years ago on a school trip...  Well lest just say i wasn't in my right mind when i woke upuke: .  forgot the snowpants.:smash:


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## Skibum_dan (Dec 12, 2006)

...If after double ejecting you wrestle with your skis for a long time because you put your up hill ski on first and can't get your down hill ski on.


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## dmc (Dec 12, 2006)

This guy smelled like mothballs...  I was thinking about offering some money for those old K2s...  Attitash had a ton of people wearing jeans that day...


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## SkiDork (Dec 12, 2006)

lol!


----------



## SkiDork (Dec 12, 2006)

dmc said:


> This guy smelled like mothballs...  I was thinking about offering some money for those old K2s...  Attitash had a ton of people wearing jeans that day...



holy CRAP!!!!!

Those Bermuda Shorts RULE!!!!!!!


----------



## JimG. (Dec 12, 2006)

You yardsale, then spend a half hour trying to put your skis back on but can't because the bindings are in the closed position and you didn't know enough to open them first. So, you walk down the hill.


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## SkiDork (Dec 12, 2006)

JimG. said:


> You yardsale, then spend a half hour trying to put your skis back on but can't because the bindings are in the closed position and you didn't know enough to open them first. So, you walk down the hill.



yardsales RULE!!!!!!


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## dmc (Dec 12, 2006)

We had a gaper stay at our ski house once..
He breaks out these OOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD boot... I told him to ditch them and rent cause they didn't look safe...  Sure enough - one broke in half and he had to walk down with one boot on and one boot off...


----------



## ski_resort_observer (Dec 12, 2006)

When I was in college those K2 Comps were my dream skis. They were one of the first ski to be molded not layerd as delamination was a big problem back in those days. My Strato's had a history of delaminating but once they put rubber in the tip it seemed to clear up the problem.


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## Brettski (Dec 12, 2006)

Have you seen this?

http://www.gaperhunter.com/index.php?id=408&curmonth=102006


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## eastcoastskiier (Dec 12, 2006)

at the shop we had a guy come in and asked up to asjust his skis.. gave us some old straights, decent shape for its age, and a pair of dated rear entries.. while doing function tests one of the heels blew up.. the plastic was do dry-rotted that just the pressure of 1 release destroyed the boot... we ended up selling hima  new pair, but he didnt want to get a boot better then our most biginner/cheapest pair.. he was addimate that all boots are the same...

"you might be a gaper if you think all boots perform the same"


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## from_the_NEK (Dec 12, 2006)

> NEK...hope you don't mind, I just couldn't help myself.....



:uzi:

:lol: :beer: :lol:


----------



## SnowRider (Dec 12, 2006)

> http://www.gaperhunter.com/index.php...urmonth=102006



Thats a pretty website. The only thing is if a snowboarder is doing a backflip or whateva can he really be called a gaper? Some of those people are also probobly joking around (Or just wanna be on the website). I mean just watch the winter RETRO section on Born From Ice. Are they really gapers? Oviously not.


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## CapeSkier (Dec 12, 2006)

*Gaper or just old?*



ski_resort_observer said:


> When I was in college those K2 Comps were my dream skis. They were one of the first ski to be molded not layerd as delamination was a big problem back in those days. My Strato's had a history of delaminating but once they put rubber in the tip it seemed to clear up the problem.



Thanks for mentioning this.  I too am old enough to remember K2 comps as the hottest thing to have.  I was skiing black Head Standards in those days.  And all this crap about skiing in blue jeans?   Does anybody besides me admit to doing this in the 70's...Or wearing a bandana?  Or the much-regretted cowboy hat fad?  Or having gel-flow boots freeze solid in the car trunk on the way to the mountain? I'm old enough to remember when ski areas had an attendant at the ticket window who would actually staple your lift ticket to the wire bail, or sometimes right to the hem of your coat.  

And shut up about the rear-entry boots.  I wear them because they are comfortable!  The Head Standards are long gone, though.  ;-)


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## Brettski (Dec 12, 2006)

Hey!  I still wear a bandana instead bying the neoprene face mask

Actually 2...one for an inner layer and one for an outter layer, works great when it's icey cold


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## ski_resort_observer (Dec 12, 2006)

CapeSkier said:


> Thanks for mentioning this.  I too am old enough to remember K2 comps as the hottest thing to have.  I was skiing black Head Standards in those days.  And all this crap about skiing in blue jeans?   Does anybody besides me admit to doing this in the 70's...Or wearing a bandana?  Or the much-regretted cowboy hat fad?  Or having gel-flow boots freeze solid in the car trunk on the way to the mountain? I'm old enough to remember when ski areas had an attendant at the ticket window who would actually staple your lift ticket to the wire bail, or sometimes right to the hem of your coat.
> 
> And shut up about the rear-entry boots.  I wear them because they are comfortable!  The Head Standards are long gone, though.  ;-)



Yea, back those days your talking alittle before the Rossi/K2 era and everyone had Head Standards/320's/360's, then they came out with the Killey line. I had 320's and most had Lange boots. 

The Head brand has done pretty well seeing that Bode has switched from Atomic to Head this year  and many others on the podium so far use Head as well.


----------



## Marc (Dec 12, 2006)

Wasn't Head the first company to make a composite ski?


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## ccskier (Dec 12, 2006)

you are a gaper if you show up to the mountain in your camaro with the ski racks that attach to the passenger window.  Your snowblades are hanging on the rack


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## Skier75 (Dec 12, 2006)

OMG! I hate when that happens! That last post of UK was me, not my hubby.....  I don't mind saying I WAS a huge gaper back in the day.....


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## dmc (Dec 12, 2006)

Brettski said:


> Hey!  I still wear a bandana instead bying the neoprene face mask
> 
> Actually 2...one for an inner layer and one for an outter layer, works great when it's icey cold



A cotton bandana? :-o


----------



## Marc (Dec 12, 2006)

dmc said:


> A cotton bandana? :-o



Serious.

There's not one ounce of cotton on me when I ski (or sail, bike or water ski, for that matter).  Cotton + wet + cold = bad.


----------



## CapeSkier (Dec 12, 2006)

*Cotton and the old days*



Marc said:


> Serious.
> 
> There's not one ounce of cotton on me when I ski (or sail, bike or water ski, for that matter).  Cotton + wet + cold = bad.



But it's true.  Cotton bandana, cotton jeans, often frozen solid.  This was life in the 70's and early 80's.  Also, lots of people skied with wine skins, made from goatskin, which made your wine taste like a baseball glove. Of course, it was Ripple or something like that, so nobody really cared.  Strangers on the gondola pulled out reefer and offered to share. Lots of people agreed.  Lots of skiers were absolutely wrecked. And some people wore cowboy hats, which tended to blow off on the chairlift, resulting in an avalance of little b-stard college kids (like me) trying to run it over or spear it with a pole. Other people with little short skis tried to do "ballet", getting their legs stuck with two skis facing in opposite directions.  hey, they  looked good doing it, though, because they always used the slope most visible from the deck where everyone was drinking.  Drinking?  The drinking age was 18, so most college kids had been up all night partying the night before, so everyone fell all over themselves.  Safety straps (what are they?) would fail, resulting in the dreaded runaway.  It was a common sight to see someone winding their way down on one ski, or carrying one ski and doing a "walk of shame" down to the base lodge. (Talk about a Gaper)  So yes, we wore cotton.  Cotton and wool were the only things out there.  There was no fleece or real synthetics, or Hot Chillys, or anything.    Goose down jackets were available, but were very expensive, so most of us didn't have them.  We wore CB jackets, or Bogner,if we were feeling fashionable,  or whatever our general winter coat was. People skied in surplus army jackets, bomber jackets, or "snorkel coats".  People actually still skied on wood skis, and when they broke, it was quite a sight.  That was it, your ski was in 2 pieces. Or somebody would yard-sale, and cut themselves all up with a "windmill", which happened when your ski released then spun around on your safety strap and hit you in the head, or in the ass, and the edge cut you.  Frankly, looking back, I think the cotton was the least of our worries!   That's it from the Geezer Division...I'll shut up now.


----------



## Marc (Dec 13, 2006)

CapeSkier said:


> But it's true.  Cotton bandana, cotton jeans, often frozen solid.  This was life in the 70's and early 80's.  Also, lots of people skied with wine skins, made from goatskin, which made your wine taste like a baseball glove. Of course, it was Ripple or something like that, so nobody really cared.  Strangers on the gondola pulled out reefer and offered to share. Lots of people agreed.  Lots of skiers were absolutely wrecked. And some people wore cowboy hats, which tended to blow off on the chairlift, resulting in an avalance of little b-stard college kids (like me) trying to run it over or spear it with a pole. Other people with little short skis tried to do "ballet", getting their legs stuck with two skis facing in opposite directions.  hey, they  looked good doing it, though, because they always used the slope most visible from the deck where everyone was drinking.  Drinking?  The drinking age was 18, so most college kids had been up all night partying the night before, so everyone fell all over themselves.  Safety straps (what are they?) would fail, resulting in the dreaded runaway.  It was a common sight to see someone winding their way down on one ski, or carrying one ski and doing a "walk of shame" down to the base lodge. (Talk about a Gaper)  So yes, we wore cotton.  Cotton and wool were the only things out there.  There was no fleece or real synthetics, or Hot Chillys, or anything.    Goose down jackets were available, but were very expensive, so most of us didn't have them.  We wore CB jackets, or Bogner,if we were feeling fashionable,  or whatever our general winter coat was. People skied in surplus army jackets, bomber jackets, or "snorkel coats".  People actually still skied on wood skis, and when they broke, it was quite a sight.  That was it, your ski was in 2 pieces. Or somebody would yard-sale, and cut themselves all up with a "windmill", which happened when your ski released then spun around on your safety strap and hit you in the head, or in the ass, and the edge cut you.  Frankly, looking back, I think the cotton was the least of our worries!   That's it from the Geezer Division...I'll shut up now.



Ok.... my point was more that, since we have better affordable materials today, there's no reason to use cotton anything anymore.


----------



## CapeSkier (Dec 13, 2006)

Right.  And I don't.  But back then, we did the best we could with what was available, and it was a hell of a lot of fun.  And frankly, I don't remember people having arguments over who crashed into whom, or the like.  Have we lost something valuable along the way? Like comradeship or civility among skiers?  But I guess that's a topic for a whole other thread.


----------



## Greg (Dec 13, 2006)

I don't spend a lot of money on base layers. In fact, some may laugh but a great place for synthetic clothing is Old Navy! :blink: :lol: Cheap stuff and often times you can find synthetic fabrics. I have a heavy fleece shirt and heavy fleece drawstring pants that I got from Old Navy. Sure, the fabric is balling up and looks crappy cuz they're lint magnets, but they were cheap and make great midweight layers. I also recently found a nice synthetic wicking long-sleeve shirt at Target. I think it's a Champion. Bottom line is there are inexpensive non-cotton options out there...


----------



## CapeSkier (Dec 13, 2006)

I just got a fleece pullover at Old Navy for $10.  There's a good thread idea.  Getting clothing and gear on the cheap.  I found some golf wind pants on sale too, and they turned into an excellent wind layer for skiing.  I think I paid $20 for those.  Fleece is fleece, and cheap is cheap!


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## Greg (Dec 13, 2006)

CapeSkier said:


> I just got a fleece pullover at Old Navy for $10.  There's a good thread idea.  Getting clothing and gear on the cheap.  I found some golf wind pants on sale too, and they turned into an excellent wind layer for skiing.  I think I paid $20 for those.  Fleece is fleece, and cheap is cheap!



Enjoy:

http://forums.alpinezone.com/11924-unique-clothing-gear-options-cheap.html


----------



## Brettski (Dec 13, 2006)

Yes Cotton bandanas...only cotton I'll have on though...

But remember I said 2...and it has to be very cold to put them to use...

Layering keeps the one next to the nose and moth from freezing up...and besides you are contantly breathing on them...and they are usually only on for the chair ride up anyway

what do you use to cover your face on an frgid day and the wind is howling?


----------



## Greg (Dec 13, 2006)

Brettski said:


> what do you use to cover your face on an frgid day and the wind is howling?



The frozen breath and snot on my mustache and beard...


----------



## Marc (Dec 13, 2006)

Brettski said:


> Yes Cotton bandanas...only cotton I'll have on though...
> 
> But remember I said 2...and it has to be very cold to put them to use...
> 
> ...



I have one of those ubiquitous $20 Seirus face masks, neoprene around the mouth/nose, fleese around the ears and back of the neck:


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## hammer (Dec 13, 2006)

Marc said:


> I have one of those ubiquitous $20 Seirus face masks, neoprene around the mouth/nose, fleese around the ears and back of the neck:


I sure hope you wash it after the end of the day...


----------



## Marc (Dec 13, 2006)

hammer said:


> I sure hope you wash it after the end of the day...



Nah, just let it dry out.  Unless I've tried to spit out a big loogie forgetting that the mask is on.  That always sucks.


----------



## ski_resort_observer (Dec 13, 2006)

Marc said:


> Nah, just let it dry out.  Unless I've tried to spit out a big loogie forgetting that the mask is on.  That always sucks.



Thanks....I didn't want any lunch anyways. :wink:


----------



## Greg (Dec 13, 2006)

Marc said:


> I have one of those ubiquitous $20 Seirus face masks, neoprene around the mouth/nose, fleese around the ears and back of the neck:



Don't wear that if it's warmer than say 20 degrees, or you will fall right into this gaper category. I have one of those too, but don't wear it often. The breath moisture build-up kinda skeeves me out.


----------



## Grassi21 (Dec 13, 2006)

Greg said:


> Don't wear that if it's warmer than say 20 degrees, or you will fall right into this gaper category. I have one of those too, but don't wear it often. The breath moisture build-up kinda skeeves me out.



I don't remember the temps from that Friday at Hunter but that thing came in handy.  Especially when dealing with those guns on Belt.


----------



## Marc (Dec 13, 2006)

Yeah, as much as I like loading a lift and talking to a complete stranger like I'm wasted because my mouth and chin are numb, I do pull out the mask whenever I'm cold.  If you wear it tight fitting around the mouth, the holes in the neoprene blend material work fine for dissapating moisture.  I've never had a problem, at any rate.


----------



## Greg (Dec 13, 2006)

Grassi21 said:


> I don't remember the temps from that Friday at Hunter but that thing came in handy.  Especially when dealing with those guns on Belt.



Probably teens, with wind, and snowmaking. I would say it was warranted so I think you were exempt from gaperdom that day. I'm talking more about those that wear it when it's 25 degrees, calm and sunny. I prefer to not wear mine unless it's biting cold, as in single digits and below.

I had a gaper moment that day at Hunter though struggling with iced up goggles. JimG. simply suggested to lay a bare palm on the goggles for a few seconds and voilà! The melted ice is then easily swept away. Made for a chilly hand between runs each lift ride, but no more visibility problems! Never heard that one before.  See? We all gape from time to time... :lol:


----------



## JimG. (Dec 13, 2006)

Greg said:


> I have one of those too, but don't wear it often. The breath moisture build-up kinda skeeves me out.



Not to mention that the "male pedophile in a leather hood" look skeeves everyone else out.


----------



## shwilly (Dec 13, 2006)

_Don't wear that if it's warmer than say 20 degrees, or you will fall right into this gaper category._

I request a Green Mountain Freezer exception to this rule. There are days when temps are normal but that lift ride is still brutal. Still, if I have to choose I guess I'd rather be a gaper than get frostbite.

_the "male pedophile in a leather hood" look skeeves everyone else out._

Bring out the Gimp!


----------



## Deviations (Dec 13, 2006)

If you SCRAPE your way down the local mogul run just to prove that you can ski it, you're a gaper (ruggers where I come from).


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## Skibum_dan (Dec 14, 2006)

I too admit to using the neoprene face mask on cold days. a tad gaper-ish...maybe. But it seems to me that one mark of gaper-ism is that gapers don't have the whole function/form thing figured out. I wear the mask even though In know it is kind of gaper-ish because I don't like a numb face. It has a function....jester hats or the fake dreadlock hats are a different story.


----------



## Marc (Dec 14, 2006)

Skibum_dan said:


> I too admit to using the neoprene face mask on cold days. a tad gaper-ish...maybe. But it seems to me that one mark of gaper-ism is that gapers don't have the whole function/form thing figured out. I wear the mask even though In know it is kind of gaper-ish because I don't like a numb face. It has a function....jester hats or the fake dreadlock hats are a different story.



Yeah... still trying to figure out the face mask - gaper connection?


There's nothing not practical about the face mask.  Are gloves gaper too?


----------



## Greg (Dec 14, 2006)

Skibum_dan said:


> I too admit to using the neoprene face mask on cold days. a tad gaper-ish...maybe. But it seems to me that one mark of gaper-ism is that gapers don't have the whole function/form thing figured out. I wear the mask even though In know it is kind of gaper-ish because I don't like a numb face. It has a function....jester hats or the fake dreadlock hats are a different story.





Marc said:


> Yeah... still trying to figure out the face mask - gaper connection?
> 
> 
> There's nothing not practical about the face mask.  Are gloves gaper too?



Face mask when appropriate = not gaper
Face mask on a warm, calm day = totally gaper

The difference is the gaper is probably wearing the facemask because they got it as a Christmas gift and they think it makes them look cool, but the conditions don't warrant it. Now again, I guess everybody is different in terms of cold tolerance, but I've seen face masks on some pretty warm days by most peoples' standard.

Finally, let's all remember - these "what's gaper" posts are all being made somewhat tongue in cheek. Let's not be so serious. Deep down - we're all gapers, or have gaped to some extent... :lol:


----------



## bvibert (Dec 14, 2006)

Greg said:


> Deep down - we're all gapers, or have gaped to some extent... :lol:



Speak for yourself... :roll:


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## Skibum_dan (Dec 14, 2006)

Yeah. We certainly have all gaped at one point or another. In the spirit of good natured fun I mention the following: Otherwise I might not dare...  I remember wearing a neon one piece ski suit like in 5th or 6th grade. My grandmother got it for me. She does a lot of work for a church in the Mad River Valley and pulled this out of a lost and found box or something like that. Ha. I actually wore it to the mountain once.....not to be jokingly cool like the Meatheads on their retro skiing bonus features on Born from Ice, but because I thought it was kinda cool. It did not fit well and I think it was prob way to snug to successfully perform a quality spread eagle so I only wore it once....Thank God......Easily the biggest gaper confession I can think of.


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## skicone (Dec 14, 2006)

Does her jacket go with those pants???


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## 2knees (Dec 14, 2006)

CapeSkier said:


> And all this crap about skiing in blue jeans?   Does anybody besides me admit to doing this in the 70's...



I'll one up you.  I skied in courdoroys once, and it was in the 80's.  

And it was at powder ridge on rental skis to boot.

the gaper trifecta.


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## 2knees (Dec 14, 2006)

and all this has me thinkin.  If i end up going to hunter tomorrow and assuming i can still squeeze into them, i think'll i wear my old stretch pants.  should be worth a laugh or two.


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## ajl50 (Dec 14, 2006)

about the face mask - gaper connection. 
When it's 6 degrees and a wind chill of -15 at whiteface the face mask is your best friend. Simply being out there makes you not a gaper. When it's 30 and sunny with light wind face mask much closer to gaper. 
However I would say that the face mask is the least of the gaper making clothing items. Mine is thin, fits under the helmet and goggles great and really keeps my face from getting blasted by snow guns. 
The scarf is much worse.


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## from_the_NEK (Dec 14, 2006)

The heck with stretch pants... I'm wearing shorts this weekend


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## haines (Dec 14, 2006)

*Excellent Forum*

You know when your a gaper:


Ski Mt Sunapee, in the tuck position with poles pointing in the air


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## hammer (Dec 14, 2006)

haines said:


> You know when your a gaper:
> 
> 
> Ski Mt Sunapee, in the tuck position with poles pointing in the air


Hey, my son's done that down the first part of Upper Blastoff...


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## dmc (Dec 14, 2006)

Brettski said:


> what do you use to cover your face on an frgid day and the wind is howling?



I have a balaclava for super cold days..  And a fleece gaitor for not as cold days..

I to gave up on cotton a long time ago...

"Cotton kills"


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## Deviations (Dec 14, 2006)

I used to have a scarf my grandmother knitted me for cold days.  She did it in the same color pattern as my Hexcel Comp skis (it looked just like the pattern, logo and all).


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## Greg (Dec 18, 2006)

Greg said:


> Face mask when appropriate = not gaper
> Face mask on a warm, calm day = totally gaper
> 
> The difference is the gaper is probably wearing the facemask because they got it as a Christmas gift and they think it makes them look cool, but the conditions don't warrant it. Now again, I guess everybody is different in terms of cold tolerance, but I've seen face masks on some pretty warm days by most peoples' standard.


Brian and I noticed the ultimate display of face mask gaperness on Friday at Hunter. The temps were probably in the forties with no wind and we saw a kid (as in late teens, early 20's) donning the face mask, but as if that wasn't enough - he had no head gear on at all to boot! No hat, no helmet. :blink: But by golly, he just had to have that face mask on! :lol:


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## bvibert (Dec 18, 2006)

Greg said:


> Brian and I noticed the ultimate display of face mask gaperness on Friday at Hunter. The temps were probably in the forties with no wind and we saw a kid (as in late teens, early 20's) donning the face mask, but as if that wasn't enough - he had no head gear on at all to boot! No hat, no helmet. :blink: But by golly, he just had to have that face mask on! :lol:



I forgot about that!


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## eastcoastskiier (Dec 18, 2006)

HAHA whenn i was in the lodge going to the bathroom i saw that kid.. the mask was on inside to!!


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## Greg (Dec 19, 2006)

eastcoastskiier said:


> HAHA whenn i was in the lodge going to the bathroom i saw that kid.. the mask was on inside to!!



Aside from no hat or helmet, he had no goggles on either - just that trusty face mask... :lol:


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## powderman (Aug 4, 2008)

bump


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## Tin Woodsman (Aug 4, 2008)

You might be a gaper if...

..you stay primarily/exclusively on piste and criticize those who object to revealing tree stashes online.


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## Greg (Aug 4, 2008)

Tin Woodsman said:


> You might be a gaper if...
> 
> ..you stay primarily/exclusively on piste and criticize those who object to revealing tree stashes online.



That is way gaper. :razz:


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## Moe Ghoul (Aug 4, 2008)

You might be a gaper if.........you skied with a Walkman CD player up until 2 years ago and carried a pocket full of CD's with you, wearing old school headphones instead of earbuds. My last run with that system was at Elk, where I got ribbed so hard by my friends, they almost took up a collection to buy me a nano, lol. I was also nicknamed "PC" for the day, ya know Apple v. PC commercials


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## hardline (Aug 4, 2008)

Greg said:


> Brian and I noticed the ultimate display of face mask gaperness on Friday at Hunter. The temps were probably in the forties with no wind and we saw a kid (as in late teens, early 20's) donning the face mask, but as if that wasn't enough - he had no head gear on at all to boot! No hat, no helmet. :blink: But by golly, he just had to have that face mask on! :lol:



i rode the lift a MC with a girl and her boyfriend this spring and pointed out the the boyfriend that it was like 45 out and why was his GF have on a face mask. we all laughed and she quickly took it off.


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## hardline (Aug 5, 2008)

any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 5, 2008)

hardline said:


> any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.



or on piste...piste in general ought to be banned from north american skiing.  call it a slope, a run, trail, groomer, whatever...anything but piste...unless you want to sound like a pretentious snot-bag


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## hardline (Aug 5, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> or on piste...piste in general ought to be banned from north american skiing.  call it a slope, a run, trail, groomer, whatever...anything but piste...unless you want to sound like a pretentious snot-bag



fully agree. its almost as bad as someone saying binders. they are binding's.


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 5, 2008)

hardline said:


> fully agree. its almost as bad as someone saying binders. they are binding's.



binders used to piss me off, now it only slightly annoys me...but piste on the other hand, just sounds worse every time I hear it.:uzi:


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

hardline said:


> any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.



I like calling things off-piste...If you ski off-piste at Blue mountain the ski patrollers will be piste-off..lol


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

highpeaksdrifter said:


> *Gaper *- A beginner skier or snowboarder who has no clue as to what they're doing on the mountain, but they don't know it. They crash all over the place and get in your way. Refered to as a gaper because of the gap between their hat and goggles, also known as a gaper-gap.
> 
> So anyways, you might be a gaper if:
> 
> #1.  You do the Gaper Tuck. Hands tight to the chest, bend at the waist, just a little bend at the knees and stick your poles almost straight up. (I've seen it 1,000 times, but it always makes me smile).:grin:



We call that a turkey tuck..and it's contagious...once one gaper does a turkey tuck..others follow suit..


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

Greg said:


> #8 You carry your skis from the lot by cradling them like a baby...



or holding them like a guitar..


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

andyzee said:


> #14 - You have every lift ticket you ever purchased attached to your jacket.



I just keep a seasons worth



thetrailboss said:


> #15.  The only way to ski an expert run is by straightlining it.



A PA expert run...


highpeaksdrifter said:


> Ahh.....could you guys number your posts please. :-?



he was anal in 2005 as well..lol



andyzee said:


> #20 - You don't number your posts



true



teachski said:


> #34 You go in for lunch at noon.



people eat lunch at noon..lol



highpeaksdrifter said:


> Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of *Freeheelwilly* and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.



ahahahaha


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## Greg (Aug 5, 2008)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> I just keep a seasons worth



Please tell me you're kidding...


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

Greg said:


> Please tell me you're kidding...



Well half kidding..I start the season off with no tickets..but I usually keep a few from early season trips....then I usually keep my Jackson Hole ticket on my jacket..I'm guessing my jacket currently has 3-4 tickets on it from Vermont..

But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 5, 2008)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> Well half kidding..I start the season off with no tickets..but I usually keep a few from early season trips....then I usually keep my Jackson Hole ticket on my jacket..I'm guessing my jacket currently has 3-4 tickets on it from Vermont..
> 
> But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..



closet gaper


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> closet gaper



Duh...

On the really crowded holidays when it's 80% gapers at Blue mountain..I do my best to blend in and become a gaper..by working on my turkey tuck, asking where they keep the moguls in the summer...and hessitating on a PA headwall..


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 5, 2008)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> Duh...
> 
> On the really crowded holidays when it's 80% gapers at Blue mountain..I do my best to blend in and become a gaper..by working on my turkey tuck, asking where they keep the moguls in the summer...and hessitating on a PA headwall..



sort of like the pied piper of gapers?  Or a wolf in gaper clothing?


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> sort of like the pied piper of gapers?  Or a wolf in gaper clothing?



totally...Or when I'm riding the lift...I nervously ask my chairmates.."Does this thing go to the top?"..lol

To get to know gapers..you need to blend in with them and become a gaper...gapers are very accepting of other gapers and are quick to teach wannabe gapers their gaper ways...just don't drink the Kool-Aid..I swear the gapers are in some kind of cult..lol

Heavens Gate chairlift...Heavens Gate cult...coincidence..red light..green light..have you ever seen the back of a $20 bill.....on weed....there's a man in the bushes and he's got a gun..


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## dmc (Aug 5, 2008)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..



Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...

Whats worse is pins..  Not such a bad thing for old folks..  But - pins on your hat.. is not cool..  just sayin...


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Aug 5, 2008)

dmc said:


> Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...
> 
> Whats worse is pins..  Not such a bad thing for old folks..  But - pins on your hat.. is not cool..  just sayin...



Every year on the flight from Chicago to Jackson Hole..there's always at least one old lady decked out in a vest with pins from dozens of ski areas...

There are also people on the plane wearing a turtleneck, sweater, and shell jacket...planes are hot like a sauna...I usually sweat in a t-shirt...and these people are three layer players..then they get off the 80 degree plane into 3 degree air and they freeze..doh..


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## dmc (Aug 5, 2008)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> Every year on the flight from Chicago to Jackson Hole..there's always at least one old lady decked out in a vest with pins from dozens of ski areas...



Texans...  Many gapers on that demographic...


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## drjeff (Aug 6, 2008)

dmc said:


> Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...
> 
> Whats worse is pins..  Not such a bad thing for old folks..  But - pins on your hat.. is not cool..  just sayin...



Oh boy, back in the late 80's, I was sooooo cool with my collection of Nastar pins all over the collar of my neon CB jacket!    Instead of keeping a stash of lift tickets on my coat so everyone could see where I'd skied, I just kept the Nastar pins with all the different areas on my coat!


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 7, 2008)

drjeff said:


> Oh boy, back in the late 80's, I was sooooo cool with my collection of Nastar pins all over the collar of my neon CB jacket!    Instead of keeping a stash of lift tickets on my coat so everyone could see where I'd skied, I just kept the Nastar pins with all the different areas on my coat!




I prob had that same CB jacket...but I kept my pins on my bball hat...and used to wear the bball hat skiing...backwards of course...stretch pants, rossi 4Ms... I was so cooool :roll:  Wish I still had the jacket for some 80s flashback days in the spring!


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## billski (Aug 7, 2008)

hardline said:


> any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.



:uzi:you got me 

dead.


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## drjeff (Aug 7, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> I prob had that same CB jacket...but I kept my pins on my bball hat...and used to wear the bball hat skiing...backwards of course...stretch pants, rossi 4Ms... I was so cooool :roll:  Wish I still had the jacket for some 80s flashback days in the spring!



Nice!!! Just can't beat the CB jacket and stretch pants.  Just need to add a pair of either iski or Vuarnet cateye style sunglasses and it's 80's retro nirvana there!  Those 4M's were also awesome 80's with their white and "paint brush strokes" of green and magenta!


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 7, 2008)

drjeff said:


> Nice!!! Just can't beat the CB jacket and stretch pants.  Just need to add a pair of either iski or Vuarnet cateye style sunglasses and it's 80's retro nirvana there!  Those 4M's were also awesome 80's with their white and "paint brush strokes" of green and magenta!


Yup, had both the ISKI shades and Vaurnet cat eyes at some point in the 80s!  By 90/91 I'd graduated to my Scot Schmidt wanna-be yellow TNF powder suit...I was moving to Squaw Valley, it was the unofficial uniform!


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## drjeff (Aug 7, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> Yup, had both the ISKI shades and Vaurnet cat eyes at some point in the 80s!  By 90/91 I'd graduated to my Scot Schmidt wanna-be yellow TNF powder suit...I was moving to Squaw Valley, it was the unofficial uniform!




Did you have the matching Schmidt bright white with neon pink and blue trim Soloman Sx91 Equipe rear entry boots or did you just goto the Schmidt in the Raichle Flexon days??  

I think it goes with out saying that you weren't skiing on anything less than a 210 back then!


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Aug 7, 2008)

drjeff said:


> Did you have the matching Schmidt bright white with neon pink and blue trim Soloman Sx91 Equipe rear entry boots or did you just goto the Schmidt in the Raichle Flexon days??
> 
> I think it goes with out saying that you weren't skiing on anything less than a 210 back then!


 I was in a Heierling. Concord..their version of the Salomon SX91...luckily I broke them halfway through the season and got into some Lange XRI Race...the neon blue ones...two shell sizes smaller.  Yup, Dynamic VR27 Geant (GS) 210cm...and a pair of 200cm Elan Ultimate Ms for my bump skis.  We'd watch blizzard of ahhhs for breakfast then go play at Squaw.


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## drjeff (Aug 8, 2008)

eastcoastpowderhound said:


> I was in a Heierling. Concord..their version of the Salomon SX91...luckily I broke them halfway through the season and got into some Lange XRI Race...the neon blue ones...two shell sizes smaller.  Yup, Dynamic VR27 Geant (GS) 210cm...and a pair of 200cm Elan Ultimate Ms for my bump skis.  We'd watch blizzard of ahhhs for breakfast then go play at Squaw.




Very Nice!


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## tjf67 (Aug 8, 2008)

You might be a gaper if everytime you suit up you have to take one last trip to the bathromm before you head out


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