# The Glomer



## 2knees (Jul 28, 2009)

everyone knows one of these types.  The guy who you just cant get rid of.  My neighbor across the street, nice enough guy, but damn is he hard to shake sometimes.  Last night was a perfect example.  Both of our families are gone for the week so i get this call around 8.  Dan the man, from across the street.  wants to know what i'm doing.  Well, its 8:00 on a monday night, I'm watching the sox and having a couple of beers.  Big mistake, next thing i know, he's on my porch with an assortment of swill in a box.  Bud light, bud light lime, etc etc.  He proceeds to spend the next 3 hours telling me how he wants to: 

A) bang the MILF that lives next door to me.  In a loud voice.  with the windows open.
B) how he's gonna get rich starting a tee shirt business in his basement
C) explains in detail, every episode of the Deadliest Catch
D) his master plan of getting his kids to college for almost nothing. 
E) as his swill consumption increased, he decided it would be better to start pissing in my backyard instead of in the bathroom, where most 40 something people like to go.

the kicker is that he wants to do it all over again tonight.  I think i'm just going to turn all the lights off and hide in my basement when i get home.


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## bvibert (Jul 28, 2009)

Tell him that you're going to be making a jump out of random shit and launching yourself off of it on your bike.  If he still wants in on that action at least it may be entertaining once he drinks enough...


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## o3jeff (Jul 28, 2009)

Get neighbors like mine that never come out. I've been living there going on 4 years and don't even know their names. The church/cult people across the street always wave to me but I avoid them at all cost.


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## bvibert (Jul 28, 2009)

o3jeff said:


> Get neighbors like mine that never come out. I've been living there going on 4 years and don't even know their names. The church/cult people across the street always wave to me but I avoid them at all cost.



Sounds like my kind of neighbors.  I don't talk to any of mine...


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## eastcoastpowderhound (Jul 28, 2009)

got a few of them at the office...you'd think after I've said "wow, really...really...wow" a dozen times they'd get the hint and move on...I've got important crap to do...like post on here.


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## deadheadskier (Jul 28, 2009)

Hey Pat!

Watch out for your cornhole man!


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## wa-loaf (Jul 28, 2009)

Hey guys! Watchu doing? OH, can I have a beer? Did I ever tell you about that time when ...


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## Beetlenut (Jul 28, 2009)

Must be some type of Karmic payback. Maybe you were the Glomer in another life?


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## severine (Jul 28, 2009)

Sounds like you have a camera man for your next bit of backyard bike stuntery.


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## drjeff (Jul 28, 2009)

Explosive Diarrhea!!  That's your excuse for tonight!!


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## HD333 (Jul 28, 2009)

Next time he decides to ruin your night have your wife invite said MILF next door over and see how he reacts.  Pretty sure he won't tell her how much he wants to bang her.

And please post pictures of said MILF.

HD


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## Geoff (Jul 28, 2009)

drjeff said:


> Explosive Diarrhea!!  That's your excuse for tonight!!



Something contagious might be better.   You can start by saying you've been exposed to Swine Flu.   That should buy you a few weeks   You have lots of others to work with to keep the guy at bay.   HIV, measles, malaria, tuberculosis, syphilis, herpes....


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## powbmps (Jul 28, 2009)

Not cool dude.  You could have called me out in private.


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## madskier6 (Jul 28, 2009)

I hear ya.  I've experienced that as well - it sucks.  Come to think of it, I've also experienced it on the slopes where someone you don't want to ski with keeps tagging along & won't get the hint to get lost & ski on their own.  They keep hovering behind you.  That sucks worse (maybe).


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## severine (Jul 28, 2009)

madskier6 said:


> I hear ya.  I've experienced that as well - it sucks.  Come to think of it, I've also experienced it on the slopes where someone you don't want to ski with keeps tagging along & won't get the hint to get lost & ski on their own.  They keep hovering behind you.  That sucks worse (maybe).



Sorry about that. I'll hang back next time.


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## madskier6 (Jul 28, 2009)

severine said:


> Sorry about that. I'll hang back next time.



It wasn't you, severine, so don't worry.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually skied with you.  I have skied with your husband many times, however.  I'll have to correct that with a night at Sundown this season.


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## severine (Jul 28, 2009)

madskier6 said:


> It wasn't you, severine, so don't worry.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually skied with you.  I have skied with your husband many times, however.  I'll have to correct that with a night at Sundown this season.



I was just teasing. 

I think we kind of skied together maybe twice--as in I was part of a larger group you were skiing with, but we didn't actually ski _together_. Once this past season and once the season before.


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## mondeo (Jul 28, 2009)

Geoff said:


> Something contagious might be better.   You can start by saying you've been exposed to Swine Flu.   That should buy you a few weeks   You have lots of others to work with to keep the guy at bay.   HIV, measles, malaria, tuberculosis, syphilis, herpes....


I was thinking swinger party, but that could get awkward.


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## thorski (Jul 28, 2009)

Don't let him know you have beer at your house. Drink his beer all the time.


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## deadheadskier (Jul 28, 2009)

thorski said:


> Don't let him know you have beer at your house. Drink his beer all the time.



and if you must let him know you have beer, tell him it's imported  :lol:


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## thorski (Jul 28, 2009)

That's a good one.


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## ComeBackMudPuddles (Jul 29, 2009)

don't know what you're complaining about.  sounds about par for the course for a red sox fan.


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## Grassi21 (Jul 29, 2009)

2knees said:


> everyone knows one of these types.  The guy who you just cant get rid of.  My neighbor across the street, nice enough guy, but damn is he hard to shake sometimes.  Last night was a perfect example.  Both of our families are gone for the week so i get this call around 8.  Dan the man, from across the street.  wants to know what i'm doing.  Well, its 8:00 on a monday night, I'm watching the sox and having a couple of beers.  Big mistake, next thing i know, he's on my porch with an assortment of swill in a box.  Bud light, bud light lime, etc etc.  He proceeds to spend the next 3 hours telling me how he wants to:
> 
> A) bang the MILF that lives next door to me.  In a loud voice.  with the windows open.
> B) how he's gonna get rich starting a tee shirt business in his basement
> ...



I am very interested to hear more about D.

Also, I would piss on your lawn anyday... sober or not.


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## Grassi21 (Jul 29, 2009)

thorski said:


> Don't let him know you have beer at your house. Drink his beer all the time.



sage advice


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 29, 2009)

2knees said:


> everyone knows one of these types.  The guy who you just cant get rid of.  My neighbor across the street, nice enough guy, but damn is he hard to shake sometimes.  Last night was a perfect example.  Both of our families are gone for the week so i get this call around 8.  Dan the man, from across the street.  wants to know what i'm doing.  Well, its 8:00 on a monday night, I'm watching the sox and having a couple of beers.  Big mistake, next thing i know, he's on my porch with an assortment of swill in a box.  Bud light, bud light lime, etc etc.  He proceeds to spend the next 3 hours telling me how he wants to:
> 
> A) bang the MILF that lives next door to me.  In a loud voice.  with the windows open.
> B) how he's gonna get rich starting a tee shirt business in his basement
> ...




Wow..luckily I don't know any of my neighbors..I like my peace and quiet..or go over to his house and take a crap in their kitchen sink..


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 29, 2009)

deadheadskier said:


> Hey Pat!
> 
> Watch out for your cornhole man!



ahahahahaha


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 29, 2009)

Or look him in the eyes..touch his upper thigh and say...,"Have you ever seen a grown man naked"


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## tjf67 (Jul 29, 2009)

2knees said:


> everyone knows one of these types.  The guy who you just cant get rid of.  My neighbor across the street, nice enough guy, but damn is he hard to shake sometimes.  Last night was a perfect example.  Both of our families are gone for the week so i get this call around 8.  Dan the man, from across the street.  wants to know what i'm doing.  Well, its 8:00 on a monday night, I'm watching the sox and having a couple of beers.  Big mistake, next thing i know, he's on my porch with an assortment of swill in a box.  Bud light, bud light lime, etc etc.  He proceeds to spend the next 3 hours telling me how he wants to:
> 
> A) bang the MILF that lives next door to me.  In a loud voice.  with the windows open.
> B) how he's gonna get rich starting a tee shirt business in his basement
> ...



You should tell him to check out this cool web site.  Alpinezone.


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## tjf67 (Jul 29, 2009)

ComeBackMudPuddles said:


> don't know what you're complaining about.  sounds about par for the course for a red sox fan.



BAHAHA  good one


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## powhunter (Jul 29, 2009)

grassi21 said:


> also, i would piss on your lawn anyday... Sober or not.



potd!!!!

Steveo


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## RootDKJ (Jul 29, 2009)

I can't say I have this problem with my neighbors.  Only 2 of my neighbors ever go outside.  The rest are all Jersey Hermits.


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## 2knees (Jul 29, 2009)

tjf67 said:


> You should tell him to check out this cool web site.  Alpinezone.




nah, I was going to send him over to SkiADK, that bastion of good times.  Love that place......


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## mondeo (Jul 29, 2009)

2knees said:


> nah, I was going to send him over to SkiADK, that bastion of good times. Love that place......


Ooh, I know! TGR!


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## wa-loaf (Jul 29, 2009)

2knees said:


> nah, I was going to send him over to SkiADK, that bastion of good times.  Love that place......





mondeo said:


> Ooh, I know! TGR!



Boring wordy know-it-all's belong on Epicski. :razz:
(Duck as Trekchick and Philpug chuck a Krypton Pro at my head)


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## mondeo (Jul 29, 2009)

wa-loaf said:


> Boring wordy know-it-all's belong on Epicski. :razz:
> (Duck as Trekchick and Philpug chuck a Krypton Pro at my head)


I'm not looking for where he'd fit in, I'm looking for where he'd take the most abuse.


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## wa-loaf (Jul 29, 2009)

mondeo said:


> I'm not looking for where he'd fit in, I'm looking for where he'd take the most abuse.



Ah, my bad.


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## tjf67 (Jul 29, 2009)

I was thinking if he sent him here he would see that his neighbor is not a very nice neighbor and he would not come around any more.  If he comes over after reading that stuff then any abuse he gets is deserved.

I


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## o3jeff (Jul 29, 2009)

Did he come by last night again? Did he update you on where he stood with his plan for the Milf?


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## bvibert (Jul 29, 2009)

o3jeff said:


> Did he come by last night again? Did he update you on where he stood with his plan for the Milf?



Inquiring minds want to know.


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 29, 2009)

Maybe he has some good pot...


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## campgottagopee (Jul 29, 2009)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> Maybe he has some good pot...



My neighbor does :razz:


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 29, 2009)

campgottagopee said:


> My neighbor does :razz:



\Hell Yeah..alot steezier than Bud Light lime..uke:


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## Glenn (Jul 29, 2009)




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## RootDKJ (Jul 29, 2009)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> Maybe he has some good pot...


Always thinking ahead...


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## drjeff (Jul 29, 2009)

GrilledSteezeSandwich said:


> \Hell Yeah..alot steezier than Bud Light lime..uke:



This may help you regain some steezy factor about Bud Light Lime there GSS.  Check out May 1st's favorite drink 

http://images.google.com/imgres?img...nis&ndsp=18&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&start=18&um=1


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## GrilledSteezeSandwich (Jul 30, 2009)

Any updates..this is the best thread on here aside from my creepy webcam..lol


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